POEMS ON AFFAIRS OF STATE

WHERE DOES WAR COME FROM?

2012-02-02T12:55:00.000-08:00

Does war derive from human nature

Or is it just an artifact

Of culture with its nomenclature

Of what it means to be attacked?

And how apply our cogitation

In thinking through civilization,

That is if you’re alive to think,

And not forever on the blink?

Does war emerge from human culture

When modern man decides to go

To war, while singing heidi-ho?

Did it derive from agriculture?

Before then what we had to eat

Was gathered fast and swallowed neat.

EQUAL OPPORTUNITY

2012-01-27T10:16:00.000-08:00

Americans want equal freedom

When freedom isn’t really free.

When some live so that others eat ’em,

It sounds more like a killing spree.

It is as if all our communities,

Demanding equal opportunities,

Are calling out to scratch an itch:

An equal chance to strike it rich.

But in a land where exploitation

Decides who’s rich and who is poor

We’ll never really find a cure,

Until we try for its negation.

Till then who’s rich will make the rules;

The rest will, equally, be mules.

THE CHIEF OF STAFF

2012-01-27T10:14:00.000-08:00

He was a man of courtly bearing

But wasted it in cringing smiles;

He thought himself to be unerring

But then, of course, he had the files.

And so it was with curt formality,

That so expressed his vile mentality,

That he demanded we should say

That everything was A-OK.

Our delicate discriminations

Produced a desolating dread

But we did as our master said.

This garnered us congratulations.

But for his diplomatic skill

(And files, of course), we’d be made ill.

THE AMERICAN MIND

2012-01-25T19:00:00.000-08:00

Americans are simple people,

Exampled in our culture wars,

And worship at bell, Book, and steeple

When not out buying stuff in stores.

We’d surely ban the prosecution

Of men and women’s prostitution,

If they displayed their wares on floors

In any of the Wal-Mart stores.

It doesn’t really seem to matter,

And hasn’t since we were backwoods,

So long as we can “get them goods.”

In fact, we’d go mad as a hatter

If we should miss out on the sales

That constitute our holy grails.

LOCK ’EM UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY

2012-01-25T18:58:00.000-08:00

To wake each day with no provision

That you’ll eventually be freed

Is how we treat whom we imprison;

And shows the kind of lives we lead.

There’s nothing like a complication

When you’re put in incarceration:

If you’re convicted of a crime,

You WAIT until you’ve done your time.

And if you finish, your mentality

Will, like a turtle with its shell,

Be burdened by your weighty cell;

And you will drag it till finality.

And citizens will all agree

They should have thrown away the key.

CHRISTWIRE PREACHER (1)

2012-01-25T18:53:00.001-08:00

“It’s your lascivious carnality

That’s made you children of the corn;

And’s given rise to your rascality

Of doing drugs and watching porn.

But so you know it is the devil

That’s led you on this merry revel

So that forever you may dwell

With others like yourselves in Hell:

With Satan’s rappers and cross-dressers,

Muff divers, sticky finger gays

Forever burning in His blaze.

So heed me now you vile transgressors

And keep your dicks inside you pants

Or burn with your confreres from France.”

A PHILOSOPHICAL DISCOURSE ON INEQUALITY (PART 1)

2012-01-23T16:27:00.000-08:00

How dare we know that inequality,

However it has been assigned

But principally within a polity,

Should certainly have been declined?

Consider, first, the social prequel

Of persons who aren’t freely equal.

Take, for example, persons slaves

Were only equals in their graves.

But living all their lives in slavery,

As southern blacks did in the South,

Meant living in a dragon’s mouth.

And though the dragons thought them savory,

The slaves who gave their lives in fire

Helped dragons gag on their desire.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

A PRETTY FACE

2012-01-20T14:12:00.000-08:00

It doesn’t seem a complex notion,

A pretty face will make men freak;

In fact it stirs so much commotion,

It turns a jock into a geek.

And when you add to that a body

That’s flowered to full-grown cum laude,

You’ll turn a man, self-willed and wild,

Into a drooling flower child.

What prompts this kind of situation?

Is it because men look for sex

And hope their boners won’t bounce checks

If there’s a chance at congregation?

My answer is, in any case,

It’s all about our saving face.

DOWN WITH THE DEATH PENALTY!

2012-01-20T13:30:00.000-08:00

The consequent of retribution,

When’s held with all-consuming zeal

As in a case of execution,

Is that we lose our balance wheel

When figuring what’s good and evil

Until we’re lost in times primeval

When penalties of death were forced

And left no grounds to be discoursed.

But now the state inflicts the slaughter;

But only if you’re black or poor

Without the money to demur.

And so it seems that we still dodder

In times primeval, once again,

When human beings were barely men.

MY FRIEND’S HOT MOM

2012-01-20T13:26:00.001-08:00

My friend and I came home from college;

But he went out and I slept in

Next morning. And, without my knowledge,

I woke with tits on my bare skin.

A hand reached round and held my penis

A mouth said, “I want this between us.

But keep your eyes shut. Please don’t look.”

Then slipped it in her open book.

“My husband’s gone and Jerry’s playing

With . . .Oh, my God . . . that feels so good!

You’re bigger than my husband’s wood.

How long did Jerry say you’re staying?”

I tried to answer when my mouth

Was shoved into a ditch down south.

HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?

2012-01-20T07:45:00.000-08:00

How much are politicians paying

For haircuts now and brand new suits;

Or mistresses for their gainsaying

You purchased their forbidden fruits;

Or any of the “immoralities,”

Though legal, pass as “criminalities,”

Like playing straight when really gay,

Not stating God will have a say;

Or arguing from “We the People”

And finding that the “folks” get fussed

And want to start “In God We Trust,”

Then ringing it from every steeple?

In other words, what is the price

A politician pays for vice?

. . . RIDING ON APOCALYPSE

2012-01-20T07:42:00.000-08:00

Jerusalem’s the holy city

For all the Christians, Muslims, Jews;

And cannot be run by committee,

Because each faith has its taboos.

And so we’ll lose civilization

Which only thrives on toleration;

It’s better then to take our leave

Before profaning some pet peeve.

These beefs prepared by “holy” leaders,

By Christian preachers, imams, scribes,

Have ready-mixed us all in tribes.

In short, it’s done by special pleaders,

The Peoples of the Book, whose chips

Are riding on Apocalypse.

“THE PRINCIPLE OF GENRIC CONSISTENCY” (FOR ALAN GEWIRTH) *

2012-01-14T10:43:00.000-08:00

Is there objective moral order

In what we call the universe?

This question is a real ripsnorter

Which some may even think perverse.

My conscience tells me that it’s moral

To pick a theologic quarrel

With born-agains who, like the pope,

Would claim he’s got the holy dope.

It’s false I know but on reflection

The answers of an Alan Gewirth,

Which logically are more than worth

The Pope’s, can offer this conception:

The answer to our moral blights

Lies in Gewirth’s thought on HUMAN RIGHTS.

* Gewirth’s arguments for an objective moral order that is secular in nature are set forth in two books: “Reason and Morality” and “The Community of Rights.”

THE REDNECK SHOP *

2012-01-13T10:26:00.000-08:00

“Come down an’ buy confederate goodies.

You’ll get ’em at The Redneck Shop.

We’ll turn your pricks to full-on woodies,

So be a man until you drop.

In back we got the blackest mammies

Brought back to life by double whammies;

And, boy, until you fucked a black . . .

You know it’s said, “You won’t go back.”

We got a Dixieland bikini;

And pictures that old Adolph signed,

The savior of all white mankind.

We sell a game called Eeny Meene

’bout catching niggers by the toe;

Or makin’ sure they’re on death row.”

* The “inspiration” for this piece comes from an article titled “Uneasy Neighbors in a Southern Gothic Tale” in the NYT dated January 13, 2012.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/13/us/in-laurens-sc-the-redneck-shop-and-its-neighbor.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper

FOR THE MITT

2012-01-12T14:40:00.001-08:00

Mitt Romney’s has “tycoon’s acumen,”

A sickness in a businessman.

It guarantees he’s half a human,

The member of a greedy clan

That orders with calm contemplation

That workers give their resignation

Whenever bosses see a need

To pad their corporations’ greed.

He won’t be snagged by chance reflections

When profits for the enterprise

Are down, no matter our demise.

Until the analysts’ projections

Are back on track, he will, with zeal,

Defend the corporate commonweal.

WORDS, WORDS, WORDS (FOR SARAH PALIN)

2012-01-12T10:42:00.001-08:00

It was a blustering assertion

But typical of her abuse

Requiring almost no exertion

And really damnably obtuse.

It seemed archaic in its meaning

Because it went its way careening

Off blazoned shield to blazoned shield

Until, as noise, it stood revealed.

She argued with her blunt rusticity

That they be paid blithe disregard,

Though this is often very hard:

For all her words had such simplicity

That when she spoke her own pretense

Would very often make no sense.

FOR RICK SANTORUM

2012-01-11T11:56:00.001-08:00

He has apocalyptic vision

And always gets approving smiles

Whenever he makes an incision

Into the liberal men of wiles.

He has an artful adaptation

Of how they’ll suffer condemnation:

If not conservative and white,

They’d be sent to forever’s blight.

And though atrocious in expression,

He has a kind of austere charm

Whenever he spreads his alarm.

He's advocated for repression

Of any who will not adore

His concept of a holy war.

GOSSIP GIRL (MATTIE AND THE HORSE)

2012-01-11T11:54:00.001-08:00

She really was a babbling gossip;

But bacchanalian desire

Made Mattie’s acts the perfect toss up

That really set friends’ tongues afire.

She seemed to seek out opportunities

Where she’d indulge her importunities.

She tried averting some disgrace,

Like sharing cum from Grace’s face,

But sometimes was caught in adventures

That made her subject of discourse,

That wouldn’t quit. She fucked a horse!

And finally the gossips’ censures

Was quickened by these acts of sex

So she divorced the horse for Rex.

OCCUPY THE ELECTIONS

2012-01-11T09:43:00.000-08:00

Democracy hangs on elections;

But what about the candidates

Who very often are infections

To women or folks gays, not straights?

Or pols who would be an annuller

Of any who are Technicolor;

Or any in the working class

Who will not kiss the boss’s ass.

It doesn’t matter what the party,

Republicans or Democrats,

They’ve all come from the old boys' frats.

Democracy is hale and hearty

When pols come from the 99;

And don’t defend the bottom line.

PORN ON POEMS ON AFFAIRS OF STATE

2012-01-10T16:51:00.000-08:00

When I post pornographic ditties,

You’ll ask: How is this politics?

What’s politics to do with titties,

And bravos with their ten inch dicks?

Considering that politicians

Are power-hungry for commissions

From lobbyists, why should you scorn

When now and then I post some porn?

Pols are the really gross obscenities

Because they pander to concerns

Who pay out truly big returns

For their incestuous amenities.

So politics is no first date;

And pornos are affairs of state.

HANGING TEN

2012-01-10T16:49:00.001-08:00

My friend’s MILF mother just popped over,

Returning to me my lost phone;

And then we’re rolling in the clover.

She said she heard I had a bone

That’s really big, a huge ten-incher.

I pulled it out. She didn’t flinch. Her

Tight dress and panties just came off.

Her juices flowed from out her trough.

Next thing I knew, she’s on me fucking

My penis wrapped up in her tits;

Then sticks it down in her cockpit’s

Abyss and then we’re off and trucking.

I plan to lose my phone again

And use her ass while I hang ten.

THE SEX SLAVE (IF WE DON’T HELP, WHO WILL?)

2012-01-10T16:46:00.001-08:00

He was affianced to a lady

Who ended his affrighted slave.

Too late she found that he was shady,

When he brought her into conclave

With Catholic priests who were abusive;

And rented her for their exclusive

Sex fantasies. So all night long

They gang-banged her. But she was strong.

And while they “did” her she was praying

That God would free her from their hold.

And then one day she was paroled

To nuns who petted her while splaying

Her legs wide open while they licked

Her pussy till she up and kicked.

THE BIBLE AS A MORAL GUIDE?

2012-01-10T11:34:00.000-08:00

The Bible says to love your neighbor;

But also says to kill a queer;

It says pay justly for day labor;

And then it tells us whom to jeer.

What if your neighbor’s gay? Or predator?

Would this get past a modern editor?

The Bible as a moral guide

Should surly be more cut and dried.

For how are we to make decisions

About what’s really wrong or right

And know that what we think’s airtight.

Perhaps the Bible needs recisions?

You’d think though an all-knowing god

Could prompt a book that’s not so flawed.

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT

2012-01-09T20:33:00.001-08:00

Her temper was accommodating,

Though she'd almost abandoned hope

Of ever reinvigorating

Her father who'd become a mope.

As if in clouds of anesthetic,

He daily grew more apathetic

Until he tried at suicide

And failed. Now his abated pride

Had plunged into abject submission.

But she had an adaptive wit

And struggled on and wouldn’t quit.

She took him off on expedition

And somewhere on the lower Nile

She fed him to a crocodile.

ETERNAL LIFE IN HEAVEN? (1) AND (2)

2012-01-09T13:56:00.000-08:00

Who’d ever want to go to heaven

And stay forever as they are

Without the slightest change to leaven

Their mortal clay is just bizarre.

Don’t think that Heaven’s immortality

Would satisfy our rationality;

How much can any person take

When there is nothing we can’t slake.

To last forever means infinity;

And if you wish to stay the same

Then only you will bear the blame

For being bored. It’s asininity

To not know that each human breath

Is made the sweeter by our death.

BASKING IN GOD’S GLORY: ETERNAL LIFE IN HEAVEN? (2)

And as for basking in God’s glory

So that you lose yourself in Him,

You’ll find that it’s the same old story,

If reasoning is not a whim.

If you’re absorbed in God’s reality,

You’ll have to lose your personality:

For totally absorbed in God,

Means that you lose your mind and bod.

For anything that’s all consuming

Would leave no room for what you are.

So, not yourself, you’d bid bonsoir

To you and then whoever’s rooming

Inside your mind gets room and board.

If not, then you’d go off your gourd.

THE DEBT COLLECTOR

2012-01-09T11:04:00.001-08:00

I am your friendly debt collector

Who’s here to rid you of your debt;

So think of me as your protector.

Now listen please and don’t forget:

Don’t ever hang up when I’m calling,

Unless you want to take a mauling.

Whoever said, “Live and let live,”

It wasn’t me. I don’t forgive.

Remember we know where you’re living

And all about the wife and kids . . .

Say why not put them out for bids?

If they don’t want to help by giving,

I know a guy who knows a guy

Won’t be as friendly as would I.

LIVING ON THE (ECONOMIC) FAULT LINE (1)

2012-01-08T19:10:00.001-08:00

Each day she hurried home in terror

Because she worried for her kid

Who, home alone, might make an error

(“He’s only 6 so God forbid.”)

Like falling down the stairs and breaking

An arm or leg. She started shaking

Then cried because, “I work health care.

But who’ll help him if I’m not there?

I take the bus for transportation

And sometimes it’s on time . . . or not;

But, even Johnny-on-the-spot,

I’m late three hours in duration . . .

And all that time he’s home alone.

He’s more than life, my corazon!”

WHAT’S THE DIFF?

2012-01-08T11:37:00.000-08:00

Is porn a form of prostitution?

For after all they're being paid

For sex; and porn’s circumlocution

In no way means that’s been allayed.

Defend it under free expression,

It’s still the world’s oldest profession;

It’s true they candidly perform

But still that won’t evade the norm.

If porn’s a legal occupation,

Then what about a prostitute

(Except, perhaps, the likes of Newt)

Whose money’s in closed fornication?

This double standard is complex,

Unless we “close the books” on sex.

THE CAPITALIST BUSINESS LEADER

2012-01-06T16:06:00.000-08:00

What makes a bourgeois business leader

Is that s/he’ll give the old heave ho

To any who try to impede her;

Or, if they have, s/he calls a pro;

Has read her Marx on exploitation;

Knows her gross's expropriation

Is workers’ surplus who produce

A thing that’s valued for its use;

And so s/he screws as much production

From workers any way s/he can

Until s/he needs a new game plan;

In which case s/he goes with construction

Of new machines which s/he’ll confess

Won’t take a break and could care less.

THE “NATIONAL” PAPER OF RECORD?

2012-01-06T10:57:00.001-08:00

Who gets their daily news reported

From papers like the New York Times

Will never know that it’s distorted

For people in the social climes

Of upper middle class ambitions

Who’d rather not hear of renditions;

Or how the working class will live

When jobs are leaking like a sieve.

Or go to any other section.

Take, for example, what’s in Style . . .

Is never for the rank and file.

The Book Review could stand inspection

Whenever they review the books

By hacks the likes of David Brooks.

A PRAYER FOR RICK

2012-01-06T10:55:00.000-08:00

“My God, please bless our man Santorum

So that he’ll raise Your values high;

And Christians live with some decorum.

Make him your Godly samurai

Who’ll bring the world Your application

Of what You mean by desolation,

Eliminating all the foes

Who’ve led us Christians by the nose.

Help him perform his vivisections

On foes like Islam in Iran;

Or on death panels’ health care plan.

Then let him turn to disinfection

Of marriage for the likes of gays.

Then Rick can launch the end of days.”

FEMALE ACTION STARS: PROGRESSIVE HOLLYWOOD? (1) (FOR ANGELINA JOLIE)

2012-01-05T16:12:00.000-08:00

Who’s seen a female action hero

Who isn’t white and paper thin,

Who, weighing almost nothing, zero,

Can always take it on the chin?

If Hollywood is so progressive,

Why is it “looks” that are impressive

And are, on balance, mostly whites

Survive, while others get last rites?

Why animals get more protection

Than women with a plane Jane’s face

Who get picked off before home base.

So they don’t suffer on reflection,

These female action movie stars

Should probably not fight in bars.

THE CONSTITUTION AND THE WILL OF GOD

2012-01-05T13:20:00.000-08:00

Who says the US Constitution

Was founded on the will of God,

Believes a New Year’s resolution

Can’t be a case of our self-fraud.

The Constitution’s first priority

Was to ensure inferiority

By making persons who were slaves

Unequals till t’were in their graves.

But God’s Book was egalitarian;

And broke with what the ancients thought, *

Although all that’s now gone for naught.

With help from our Tea Party Aryan,

They now assert it as their right

To damn all persons who aren’t white.

* I take this line of reasoning from CREATED EQUAL by Joshua Berman.

AN ARGUMENT FOR INCEST

2012-01-05T11:15:00.000-08:00

On what grounds would you damn consenting

Adults from having sex? Or would

You just go with that they’re assenting

And leave it there, for ill or good?

If so, then why get so tempestuous

And raise a storm when it’s incestuous?

As long as they are both adults

Why should they suffer our insults?

Consent implies it’s not abusive.

And though you think it is taboo

Because it is your bugaboo,

That argument’s hardly conclusive.

It’s now like saying you’d more than haze

Two lovers just because they’re gays.

EAT CROW AND DIE

2012-01-05T09:48:00.001-08:00

“I am an undecided voter

But bow to pressure from my peers.

A friend said one had body odor,

And said another favored queers.

These traits struck me as so pathetic,

Though I'd been mostly apathetic,

That I decided then and there

To be a man and grow a pair.

And so I made a resolution

That I would check out candidates

To see if we agreed on hates.

For voting is an institution

In which you finally have to know

Which candidates will quid pro quo.”

ELECT ME . . .HELP!

2012-01-04T11:30:00.000-08:00

I swear I’ll take the oath of office

As President when you elect

A man who’ll promise not to boff us,

Thus injuring our self-respect.

I’m not a man who’s presidential

Although I do have one credential

A person needs for president:

I wouldn’t take a single cent

From CEOs or Wall Street bankers.

And when they try and kill me for

The fact that I won’ be their whore,

I know you’ll show these rightist wankers

What ordinary folks can do . . .

Alas . . . Win a few, lose a few.

WHO SHOULD VOTE?

2012-01-03T11:12:00.000-08:00

The right to vote and really voting,

Each falls into a separate class.

The “right” needs no expert emoting

But’s granted to who’d drag their ass

To cast a ballot. For the other,

Who has no feeling for another,

Please stay at home behind your moat

If you would vote what floats your boat.

We live together in communities;

But, selfishly, you vote the way

You want no matter what foul play

Is done to equal opportunities.

I’m arguing to vote we should

Deliberate the common good.

THEOLOGICAL REALISM

2012-01-03T09:46:00.000-08:00

It is the magic of realities

That we can know what’s true or not;

From cataclysms to banalities

(Volcanoes or a drip of snot).

Reality presents solutions

Except, of course, to Lilliputians

Who preach, when things get really odd,

They must be called an act of God.

But God’s the archetype of fiction

Who was created in the days

When we lived in primeval haze

And cowered for His benediction.

But praying to what isn’t real

Is still, now, our Achilles’ heel.

A MODEST PROPOSAL (WITH APOLOGIES TO SWIFT)

2012-01-02T12:17:00.000-08:00

Perhaps we should be sacrificing,

As did the Indians, a child *

In hopes that when we’re finished slicing

A candidate who would have filed

As nominee in this election

Will tremble at our vivisection.

Then we might get some candidates

Who keep their word in their debates.

I claim this is a good proposal:

Who ends up as our nominee

Will really be our employee.

If not, then s/he’s at our disposal,

Providing s/he’s free of disease . . .

But now to take RSVP’s.

*An article in Huff Post titled “Indian Police Arrest 2 Men For Sacrificing Child” inspired this post.

RICK, JESUS HAS A MESSAGE FOR YOU

2012-01-02T10:20:00.001-08:00

“As president, our man Santorum

Has promised he would bomb Iran

Regardless of a Senate quorum

And do it just because he can.

He thinks it is his Christian duty

To knock all Islam on its bootie.

He laughed and said, ‘If they have nukes

We’ll treat them as non-Christian pukes.’”

These words from Rick’s press secretary

Were uttered to the God of Love

Who went ballistic. “Get rid of

This man. He is reactionary.

Press angel, call the press and say,

‘Who votes for him, them I’ll puree.’”

IS VOTING A CIVIC OBLIGATION?

2012-01-02T10:18:00.000-08:00

You have no civic obligation

To cast a vote unless you think

You’re justified by cogitation

That none could say is rinky-dink.

For what’s at stake in our elections,

Deserve we give them deep inspections;

And anyone who can’t do that

Should simply stay at home, a prat.

Who claim that voting is a duty

No matter what you know or don’t

Are persons who would not say “won’t”

Despite a pol’s being Howdy Doody.

In other words, to get your vote

They’ll say whatever floats your boat.

GET A CLUE

2012-01-01T16:43:00.001-08:00

America, the institution,

Has finally woken up to class;

And put aside the convolution

That anyone can be THE BRASS.

You’ll never go from rags to riches.

If poor, you’ll keep on digging ditches;

So give it up in favor of

All who’d now give the rich a shove.

Let’s do away with differentials

Then we can build a polity

With no more inequality,

Retarding people’s full potentials.

That’s far more worthy of your dreams . . .

And’s fun to hear rich people’s screams.

LEAD US NOT INTO DEBT

2012-01-01T12:35:00.001-08:00

When humans lived in times primeval,

A debt was what was owed the gods;

Then money brought us great upheaval

With banks and usurers and odds.

As well, with money’s first invention,

It brought us human hypertension

As debt became the money owed

Because it’s prompted by a goad.

If debt grew from our first morality

In honor to the gods on high

For giving us pie in the sky,

How is it now the commonality

(On empty stomachs!) drudge and sweat

To be led deeper into debt?

WHO HAS THE GOLD MAKES THE RULES

2011-12-31T08:54:00.000-08:00

America’s “best” politicians,

Deep pockets all with bucks to burn,

Get television’s expositions

And yet the voters never learn.

A TV spot is so confining:

Can hide a pol who’s always whining;

And yet he’s never gloomy Gus,

As PAC men fill our heads with pus.

Gorged bank accounts will win elections.

The Court has made this dream come true

So now there’s nothing we can do

To stop the rich from their selections.

Democracy takes megabucks,

So pols treat us like we're their “hockey pucks.”

TAX THE CHURCHES BEFORE THEY TAX YOU

2011-12-30T15:11:00.001-08:00

I say we tax religion’s churches.

If they refuse to pay their tax,

Then we should knock them off their perches

And give their preachers forty whacks:

Because they foster inequality

Among the members of the polity:

For tax breaks serve the superrich.

This is the megachurch’s pitch:

“We preach the gospel of prosperity.

To do that we need ten percent

Of gross. If you can’t pay your rent,

Rely upon faith, hope, and charity.

And if you’re still stuck in a mess

Why you should give us more and God will bless.”

LIBERAL HOLLYWOOD?

2011-12-30T12:31:00.000-08:00

It’s time for re-evaluation

Of how progressive Hollywood

Is when it comes to advocation

Of voting for the just and good.

It’s not to say some aren’t progressive

’Gainst policies that are repressive;

But Hollywood as a town is

Concerned with one thing: that’s the biz.

As businesspersons they’re rapacious:

Fight union contracts; female stars

Are forced to suck on their cigars.

In short, it simply is fallacious

To think they’re from the 99

When all they really fear’s their bottom line.

THE PENALTY FOR VOTING STUPIDLY

2011-12-30T10:56:00.000-08:00

Does politics need more philosophy?

The answer I propose is: yes.

I gladly pay a Mafioso fee

To “hit” on those could not care less.

Who cannot make informed decisions

But rather judge by television’s

Ads who’s the better qualified

I’d have them taken “for a ride.”

This is a drastic intervention;

But voters need to understand

That when they vote they take a hand

In how the country’s run. Prevention,

Of who won’t vote the common good,

Is just. A dunce must be withstood!

ARE EVANGELICALS A NATIONAL SECURITY THREAT?

2011-12-24T13:47:00.000-08:00

Evangelical Christianity

Will always put religion first

Because they think that all humanity,

Without their God is surely cursed.

And so they know there’s impropriety

Allowing for devout variety

Because religion and the state

Are one. Of that there’s no debate.

And none, therefore, dare call it treason

Eliminating all non-whites,

For they’re the ones who’ve brought these blights.

And so it simply stands to reason

You cannot worship foreign gods

Without deserving their death squads.

THE LAW AS SUPERSTITION

2011-12-24T13:45:00.000-08:00

I don’t see why our superstitions

Can’t be the bases of our law;

With courts and lawyers as magicians

Enchanting us with blah, blah, blah.

In church we let our charming preachers

Conjure away all evil creatures;

And Jews, from out their magic book,

Say what we can and cannot cook.

Not only in the God’s communities

Do we search out what’s wrong or right

To keep us safely through the night.

The state, too, orders opportunities:

The LAW bewitches bankers’ loans

Transmuting them to our home groans.

WHY DO WE HATE THE POOR?

2011-12-24T08:40:00.000-08:00

Why do we have such bad reactions

To any mention of the poor?

Is it because we think our actions

Are always anything but sure?

In other words, we just got lucky

And that’s the reason things are ducky.

Why do we think they’re beasts of prey

Who pray for handouts from our pay?

Or is it our most Christian nation

Forgot their homeless Jesus was

Accounted by His “betters” scuzz?

At any rate, our allocation

Of hatred for the poor won’t bide:

There’s more of them than us worldwide.

FAITH ZOMBIES (IDIOT AMERICA 2)

2011-12-23T09:22:00.000-08:00

For God we challenge evolution,

Politically a savvy move,

And would amend the Constitution

(And know our Lord God would approve)

To force who think that our Creation

Derived from some four-eyed crustacean,

Or monkeys swinging in the trees

To beg His mercy on their knees.

And once they’ve made a good confession

They’ll join us in the Ranks of Love

Who glorify the God above;

Then help destroy all whose profession

Is science based, for we’re resolved

To finish off the uninvolved.

THE ETHICS OF VOTING

2011-12-22T11:08:00.001-08:00

Incompetent decision-making,

Defined as “what will float my boat,”

You’d hardly think would be earthshaking

Except when it comes time to vote.

For voters have an obligation

To give their vote some cogitation;

And figure in the common good.

But voters’ heads are made of wood!

Not grounded in facts or morality

But mostly ignorant and base

Without a sense of common place,

They cannot use impartiality

To help them make decisions that

Are rooted in the democrat.

A BRIEF PROFESSION OF CHRISTIAN POLITICS

2011-12-21T14:28:00.001-08:00

Political decision makers

Should use the Bible to decide

If humanists and God-forsakers

Should be condemned and crucified.

They should be held for trial and stoning

For arguing the Virgin’s boning;

Denying Christ the Risen Son

As Jew would or Mohammedan.

The Bible is the one Authority

That we can count on to command

America, the Holy Land.

We are the God’s moral majority:

So Christians say who’s friend or foe

Because “the Bible tells us so.”

TEA PARTY DEATH?

2011-12-20T06:40:00.000-08:00

Tea Party voters are diminishing

Because they’re lunatics who are

Off mission such as really finishing

(And this is truly so bizarre)

The chances that the Dem Obama

Would fail the economic trauma.

He has. But now the point is moot

Because of Perry, Bachmann, Newt.

Who doesn’t know that this election

Is all about the unemployed.

Their candidates are all schizoid

And totally have lost connection

To anything but spending cuts.

And dunces vote to kiss their butts?

REPUBLICAN IMMIGRATION POLICY “?”

2011-12-20T06:37:00.000-08:00

The members of the Grand Old Party

Have argued it’s illicit for

An immigrant who is a smarty

And fought our latest foreign war

To go to college on tuition

That citizens pay for admission.

(A truly useless exercise

When all tuition’s on the rise.)

It’s meant to fluster immigration

Which never ever will be done

For lives in constant 911.

So why encourage aggravation?

When what you want is someone’s vote,

It’s stupid not to float their boat.

ARE CATHOLICS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING? (A BOOK REVIEW)*

2011-12-20T04:22:00.000-08:00

The terrors of the Inquisition,

Says Coren, weren’t the Church’s fault;

But says extremes in its ambition

Lay squarely in the bankers’ vault.

The Scientific Revolutions

Indeed had Catholic contributions;

And as for fighting in Crusades:

To take their homelands back from spades.

But most of all and most “compelling”

He says the Holocaust of Jews

Was fought against. That’s surely news!

What I don’t get is underselling

A problem (that leaves Catholics awed)

Is proving that there’s any God.

* This is my review of Michael Coren’s book Why Catholics Are Right.

THE DISAPPEARING GAMER

2011-12-19T11:50:00.000-08:00

One day a dauntless cyber warrior

Sat down at his computer screen

To seize and hold Helen of Troy. Her,

Whose likes the world had never seen.

When suddenly from his reality

A cyber door, to her locality,

Was opened and it sucked him in

Her captive now, to his chagrin.

“Who are you fools who keep intruding

To fight the wars fought long ago?

You haven’t had enough gung ho?”

He whimpered, crying “My transmuting

Was not my doing. That I swear.”

But, turning, saw his empty chair.

And as he looked the door was closing

But not before he saw his wife

As she walked in, saw him transposing.

She shouted, “Fool, not on your life.

You can’t escape from me that easy.

You never even tried to please me.

Who is that bitch that’s sitting there?”

The queen slid from her royal chair

And standing said, “Oh stop your bitching!

How is it that he doesn’t please?”

“His dick is to the nth degrees.

Go look and see. It’s so bewitching.”

So Helen looked, saw his big ten

And welcomed it inside her den.

A cyber door from this reality

Was opened up to get him back

From out the Trojan principality

But failed. The aphrodisiac

Of love slave to the gorgeous Helen

(Though held in chains as if a felon)

Was too much for him to resist.

“Who’d think of giving up a tryst,”

He thought, “With one who’s so adorable . . .”

When suddenly he heard a snore

That sounded like a dragon’s roar;

And thinking that this was deplorable

Sat bolt upright but gave a scream

When he discerned he’d had a dream.

A BORDER FENCE?

2011-12-19T11:05:00.001-08:00

Who’d halt illegal immigration

Must build a fence so high and wide

The Berlin Wall in aspiration

Was merely commonplace bromide.

And then, of course, you’d need sharp shooters

To take out women who’d be "brooders"

Of “anchor babies” since you’ve sworn

They won’t be to the manner born.

To make sure that it’s petrifying

You’d sow the border with land mines

To let them know they’ve crossed deadlines.

In other words, you're terrifying

The economic refugees

Who’ll do your work just as you please.

A CLIMATE CHANGE MACHINE?

2011-12-19T11:03:00.000-08:00

They tell me that the climate’s changing.

But what am I supposed to do

Before it starts in rearranging

The world? Is it a bugaboo?

If it’s so bad then men of science,

And women, should build an appliance

That limits carbon in our air

Before we’re in intensive care.

I’m not a climate change denier

But if we wait on politics

We’ll all have crossed the river Styx

Before the final nullifier

(Mother Nature) breathes our bad breath

And sentences humans to death.

AN ARGUMENT FOR EQUAL PAY FOR EQUAL WORK

2011-12-16T11:35:00.000-08:00

Is it unfair a porn performer

(The stars, that is,) are always girls

Or women? What of those who storm her

Vagina? Are they merely churls

Paid pittance for their humble labors

Despite the fact their fleshy sabers

Are needed for the final act

Of all non-lesbian contact?

Imagine all the situations

That wouldn’t work because a man

Was not there in the screenplay’s plan.

A strap on might help conjugations

(But's only tempest in a cup)

Becuse there’s nothing to clean up!

CANDIDATES FOR WHAT?

2011-12-16T10:15:00.000-08:00

Who cares for GOP contenders

For president or Democrats

(Despite their pseudo PC tenders)

Should know both parties serve high hats.

Why even President Obama,

Whom once we worshipped as the Brahma,

Created nothing to depress

The greed they’ve labeled as success.

So what, you ask, is my solution?

We are the 99%

Who must go further than dissent

And break the bonds of constitution,

Thus panicking the promise of

Their profits, lending us self-love.

GOOGLE AND THE BANKS (OR TRUTH IN ADVERTISING)

2011-12-14T10:04:00.000-08:00

From out the screen she grabbed my penis

And stuck it up her dripping twat

So there was nothing else between us.

She even strangled down my, “What?!”

By smothering my mouth with kisses;

And finishing she said, “This bliss is

Bestowed on you in cyberspace

To open an account with Chase.

I said, “You mean it’s advertising?”

She said, “Hey, dude, that’s what we do

To hook a customer like you.

If you should think that is surprising ,

With your account you get an app

Gives access to my tender trap."

NO SYMPATHY FOR LINDSAY

2011-12-13T12:19:00.000-08:00

Are Lindsay Lohan’s troubles over

Means will she ever be a star

And once again roll in the clover

Of movie fame? Is it bizarre

That someone with her acting talents

Could ever be knocked off her balance?

That’s what her acting skills are for.

And yet I wish to underscore

That acting is an occupation

That brings with it just loads of stress

Can land you in an awful mess.

It makes you nervous your creation

Won’t fly again. So you do drugs;

And sell the rights to flash your jugs.

IN PRAISE OF GIRLIE MAGAZINES (OR HOW I LEARNED TO READ)

2011-12-13T11:01:00.000-08:00

When I was just a middle schooler

I couldn’t read and write so well;

My parents thought I was a drooler

Until one day in our motel

They sent me out to do room cleaning;

And as I did I found while leaning

Under a bed a Playboy stash

And saw the model’s naked gash.

So after ogling her picture

I tried to read her interview

But didn’t have the slightest clue.

Till I remembered teacher’s stricture:

“That’s what the dictionary’s for.”

So kept them in my bedside drawer.

FOR INSTAGRAM (iPHONE APP OF THE YEAR)

2011-12-09T11:55:00.000-08:00

I make up silly applications

For folks who want to use their phone

To satisfy their aspirations

Their lives won’t evanesce, unknown.

You see them with these iPhone features

That makes them out as social creatures:

They tell you when they want a nap,

Or when they have to take a crap.

And then you see it as a posting

On Twitter, Tumblr, or Facebook,

Their very private public nook.

I’d rather this not sound like boasting,

But they, for certain, made me rich

By helping show them scratch an itch.

IN PRAISE OF SELF-DECEPTION

2011-12-08T12:22:00.000-08:00

I’d rather not fight self-deception.

Since it's extremely useful for

Defending what my sense perception

Tells me won’t happen anymore:

Like fooling with a female hottie

Whom now I download for a body.

No longer young, I’d not assuage

The fact that I can’t act my age.

I’m like the dreamer, Walter Mitty;

And like him I prefer my dream

To liven me with self-esteem,

Like having sex and being witty.

And so I’ll go with self-deceit,

If I must beat a fast retreat.

THE HACKER AND THE SIRENS

2011-12-06T13:27:00.000-08:00

A hacker, knowing his computers,

Was so absorbed downloading porn,

Especially those with girls whose hooters

Were double Ds and native born,

He didn’t notice when these sirens

Invaded his mind/brain’s environs

Until he felt a silky mouth

Begin to suck him off down south!

He knew that this must be a virus;

But where the devil was it from

He asked himself in clouds of cum?

The sirens said, “You may acquire us

And live with us in paradise

By joining us in this device.”

He knew somehow (by intuition?)

That what the women said was true:

The virus granted him admission

Into a world he’d not eschew.

Gone would be days when all his wanking

Would be performed by his hand-cranking

His penis. And the very best

Would be to feel each lovely breast.

But knowing virtual reality

Was like an image in a mirror:

You moved away, you’d disappear;

And so his individuality

Would live somewhere in cyberspace.

But who could fight a porn star’s grace?

But still the hacker hesitated,

Afraid forever he’d be lost;

Though he’d escape what he most hated:

A world where everyone was bossed.

It so offended his mentality,

That bossing helped define reality,

He stopped and thought what he might do

To reconstruct the world anew.

Not giving up for lack of trying,

He thought the world could go to hell.

(It was a place it would know well.)

And so he joined them, occupying

A special site in cyberspace

Was free for work he could embrace.

WHY I LOVE THE BIBLE

2011-12-04T13:59:00.000-08:00

We praise a God Who’s homicidal

Against those who oppose commands

(That some might think are genocidal)

By doing as our Lord commands:

Like giving over to His slaughter

Who wouldn’t rape a heathen’s daughter;

Or giving up, for His bloodshed,

A man who’d share a marriage bed

With other men. We’d gladly torture

All people who won’t praise our God

By giving them a cattle prod,

That’s heated up till it’s a scorcher,

And plunging it in their behinds.

The Bible simply blows our minds.

A METAPHOR FOR REPUBLICAN POLICY

2011-12-03T13:27:00.000-08:00

I went outside and was astounded

Encircled by a mist so thick

That suddenly I was confounded

When from behind I felt a prick.

I reached behind and grabbed the boner

And told him I could use a loaner;

Then stuck it in my pussy’s grot

Where right away it hit the spot.

The feeling then was so delightful

I thought that I might lose my mind

Until it moved to my behind.

I thought, if he’d been more insightful,

He would have known the GOP’s

Pols fucked me there with STDs.

PROSTITUTES FOR NEWT

2011-12-02T21:21:00.001-08:00

In 66, I was a hippie

Did drugs, danced nude, and fought the war;

Then settled down to be a chippy

And started working as a whore.

I got the men to do my bidding

By helping me, although unwitting,

To rid them of their prudish ids

By drugs then do what Katie bids.

And then computers were invented

And with it business went forlorn,

Since these machines promoted porn.

So gave up whoring and repented.

And now I am a person who

Pied pipes for Newt, my, “Honey, do . . .”

I'M NEWT GINGRICH AND I APPROVED THIS AD

THE OLD MAN AND THE DEMON

2011-12-01T10:12:00.001-08:00

The old man was a junk collector.

It’s what he did when he retired.

Until he came across a specter

That gave you anything desired.

It rose from out an ancient vessel

And challenged him. If he’d arm wrestle,

And won two out of three, It would

Give unto him fulfilled manhood.

The old man though refused the bargain

But wrestled with It anyway

And won. “You’ll live another day,”

The demon said. “My name is Gargan.

Why won’t you have your wish fulfilled?”

The old man said, “Then I’d be killed.

“Unless, of course, you’re more specific

On what it means to be fulfilled.”

“You’ve got me. It would be horrific.

And certainly you'd have been killed.

Now since you saw through my deception,

I’m forced to honor your conception

Of anything you wish for now

And grant it as my sacred vow.”

The old man had an ugly daughter

Who lived with him. (His wife was dead.)

And so he took it in his head

To have her cured. And, having brought her,

He asked the jinn to make her fair

And live a life without a care.

The demon did as he requested

But not before It asked him if

He really wanted her divested

Of how she looked? “Why in a jiff,”

The old man said. “Then she can marry

And live a life that’s customary.”

The demon honored his request

And made a girl delight caressed.

But suddenly the old man’s feeling

Was disappearing with his breath

And he was certain of his death.

Disgusted at the dirty dealing,

He asked It, "Why?" "I made her fair

And took away her only care.”

LONG LIVE THE OCCUPATION

2011-11-30T22:36:00.001-08:00

I went down to the Occupation

To take my fair share of abuse

And help us out from our prostration

To politicians and their ruse

Of better living through our voting.

(And all the while, of course, they’re gloating.

They know our votes are now worth less

But sometimes help, relieving stress.)

I took their clubs, endured their beating;

But slowly they forced our retreat

But mostly cause we had to eat.

One thing’s for certain: no more pleading.

And when at night I hit the sack

I know that soon we will be back!

If this seems like a contradiction,

Believe me when I say it’s true.

You might give way to interdiction

When leadership’s been knocked askew;

But slowly we will reassemble

And thinking how to make them tremble,

We’ll finally beat back their deceit,

The stock and trade that is Wall Street.

The point is we set people thinking

On how America is run,

And forced the Street to 911.

So fewer now will be lipsyncing

What Wall Street’s pols say. We’re content:

We are the 99%.

EVEN 1% OF THE 99

2011-11-30T09:21:00.001-08:00

I don’t know why I get depressive

When listening to the GOP.

Is it because they are oppressive?

Would see me under lock and key?

The Democrats, too, have Obama

Who’s really helped them shape our trauma.

So what am I supposed to do?

Just sit at home while feeling blue?

What happened to the Occupation?

Where is the 99%?

Too busy scrounging to pay rent

To stand up to our degradation?

If 1% of 99

Would stand, they’d stop at our frown line.

CHRISTIAN RELIGION AT THE BALLOT BOX

2011-11-28T13:21:00.000-08:00

When voting in a Christian nation,

The Holy Bible is our guide;

Because it was God’s declaration

That celebrated genocide:

So killing natives and black slavery

Were never forms of Christian knavery;

That foreign lands and cussed gays
Must suffer us till end of days.

It gave men rights to women’s stoning

If whorish women had a yen

To “do it” with a man or men,

The price for their illicit boning.

As Christian voters under God,

Our prospects need the Bible’s nod.

IDIOT AMERICA 1

2011-11-25T12:54:00.000-08:00

Here dinosaurs are wearing saddles

Because the Bible tells us so;

And women are a man’s first chattels;

Blacks still should suffer from Jim Crow.

When these “deductions” from the Bible,

Writ when we humans were still tribal,

Are still believed by people here

It shows their minds have stripped a gear.

And, too, because the politicians,

In their relentless search for votes,

Will pander to what floats their boats.

In fact, encourage dispositions

Where cranks are puffed with self-esteem

And imbeciles are now mainstream.

PASSOVER

2011-11-25T12:49:00.000-08:00

“I do not have the slightest feeling,”

Said Randall Terry*, “for men who,

Instead of practicing their healing,

Kill babes. Operation Rescue

Demands an end to this atrocity.

We do not kill with animosity

But do it with profoundest love

Commanded by our God above.”

When this was brought to God’s attention,

He asked when He’d made manifest

That Randall Terry was so blessed

“That he can make known My intention?

I’ve killed some babies in My time.

Who claims Passover was a crime?”

* Randall Terry founded the “pro-life” organization Operation Rescue.

MODERN POETRY

2011-11-22T14:44:00.001-08:00

I woke up with an armadillo

Was snoring soundly in my bed;

Then I recalled, beneath my pillow,

My .45 and shot it dead.

This roused the peasants in the village

Where I’d been helping with their tillage.

They, seizing me, brought me to court

And asked me just what kind of sport

Would do a thing like that. I answered

And what would you do if you knew?

They scratched their heads. They had no clue.

I said because their heads were cancered,

They thought that words should make some sense.

Now go set up the circus tents.

HEAVEN OR HELL? (FOR ANNMARIE)

2011-11-22T10:57:00.000-08:00

I want to take a trip to Heaven

But only in my mind to see

If Heaven's better than the 7-

Eleven or filed with ennui.

And then I’d visit with the devil

To see if Hell is on the level:

Will I be punished for the sin

Of giving all the boys my yin?

I closed my eyes and concentrated

And tried to see what my mind showed

But saw a number, my zip code.

I saw its meaning as it faded:

It meant that Heaven’s Hell’s on earth

So go and get your money’s worth.

A BRIEF BIOGRAPHY OF A PORN STAR

2011-11-22T10:18:00.001-08:00

I used to be a girl, immodest

In everything I said and did;

And thought that I was just the hottest.

I know now it was just my id

That made me think that I was cuter

Could get away with acting lewder

Than any girl. Showed camel toe

But really all it was for show.

But couldn’t change. As I got older

I thought I could put this to use

So did a film. It cooked my goose;

And I was hooked, played fast and loose.

And suddenly a star was born.

I make a fortune doing porn.

FOR TAMARA AT FAMILY FRIEND POEMS.COM

2011-11-22T10:16:00.000-08:00

It’s funny how he makes me giggle

When I find that his finger’s in

To probe the spot that makes me wiggle

So that my pussy wants to sin.

I want his cock to take my pussy

Because he is a glamourpuss. He

Once asked could he fuck my ass.

I asked about the shit morass

That if he did he might encounter.

An enema was what he said

He’d used once on his sister’s spread.

And thinking this, I saw him mount her

And pump away at her butt hole;

And hoped they used the birth control.

MARGIN CALL

2011-11-22T09:01:00.000-08:00

The Newt will give Social Security

To anyone who asks for it,

Providing they don’t lack the purity

Of sacrifice to take a hit.

So all your work is beneficial,

You still might end up sacrificial

Because free markets don’t protect

From bankers’ greed and its effect.

And savings always means the bankers

Whom we must give our money to

And hope deposits don’t skidoo.

For banks, like ships, will weigh their anchors

When payouts that they can’t afford

Will sink them if you get on-board.

PSYCHOTICS IN THE WHITE HOUSE

2011-11-21T09:10:00.000-08:00

I never got enough affection

When I was just a little boy;

And had to make my own protection

The object of my pride and joy.

At school, when I got ganged or bullied

I saddled up, got wild and woolied;

And when those fuckers turned their backs

That’s when I gave them 40 whacks.

This may not seem to be essential

But shows I’ll never back away

Before I make offenders pay.

It comes with being presidential.

As you can see, from when a kid

I’ve always led off with my id.

THE CHINESE PEACE PRIZE (FOR WAR AND HUMAN RIGHTS ABUSES)

2011-11-20T12:12:00.000-08:00

The Chinese are self-advertisers,

And money men, so you’ll believe

Me when I say they’re subsidizers

Of anything that will deceive:

Like giving Russia’s Mr. Putin,

A far worse man than was Rasputin,

Their Peace Prize for pursuing war

Against the Chechens, gone hard-core;

And countless human rights abuses.

For what the Chinese want to do

In rendering their dream come true

Is show that torture has its uses;

And show the world it must succumb

To torture as a rule of thumb.

POEMS ARE MEANT TO “TAKE THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD OFF”

2011-11-20T12:07:00.001-08:00

I try to write with vim and vigor

And say what’s really on my mind;

And do it with a kind of rigor

But bounded by how I’m confined:

By lines are measured out in syllables

That rhyme as well. They can be thrillables

As only rhyme and verse can do

While prose displays a dull IQ.

I wouldn’t have you think I’m snobby.

But poetry was meant for verse

Invented as it was to curse,

When Simmonides, Hammurabi

Of poets, first laid down the law

That poems work like a power saw.

MEMO FROM WALL STREET

2011-11-19T13:30:00.001-08:00

We must establish our position

On all of OWS

Because we need the ammunition

To stop these students’ full court press

Against the money that we’re making

Which they claim’s stealing, merely taking.

We wouldn’t want the GOP

To get so scared they cut us free.

Let’s claim that when they knock free markets

They’re killing off democracy

In favor of autocracy.

Then we’ll paint them with that black mark. It’s

Our inerrant ace in the hole

So we don’t have to show control.

HEAVEN CAN WAIT

2011-11-17T11:53:00.000-08:00

I met a girl, a glamourpuss,

Who questioned me on watching porn;

I said I had an omnibus

That we could watch from night to morn.

And so we settled in to watching

A crew of men who were debauching

A creature very like a sylph.

I said that I preferred a milf.

She said, “Then, sir, your wish is granted.”

And when I looked a woman who

Sat next to me in my church pew

Appeared before me. “I’m enchanted,”

She said. “Sent down by Jesus Rex

As my reward. So let’s have sex.”

I said, “My God. Sent down by Jesus!”

“Well . . . yes,” she said. “He won the war

In Heaven’s realm. And so, to please us,

He sent us down so we could score.”

“By watching porn?” I asked. “No, silly.

By learning how to guild a lily.

The porn I thought to watch with you

Will teach me what I need to do.”

“Who are you?” “Call me Angelina.

The Testaments, both New and Old,

Divided all of Heaven’s fold

And turned the place to an arena.

The Father argued with the Son

That sex was wrong. But Jesus won.”

“So you’re an angel?” “Newly landed.

And Earth is such a lovely place . . .

I wouldn’t care if I were stranded.

Of course, I’m not. In any case,

Can we engage in fornication?

I promise there’ll be no creation.”

“Why not?” I asked. “So you want kids?

I’m older than the pyramids;

And couldn’t stand to see them dying.”

“But what about our immortality?”

“When humans die, they’re really dead.

We traded sex to flee that dread.

Now please indulge my sexuality.”

So fucking till her time to go,

They dragged her screaming from death row.

ASTEROID 2005 YU55

2011-11-15T11:55:00.000-08:00

When Earth had had its first encounter

With asteroid YU55,

It quickly took a body count. Her,

The Earth, had grown to be a hive.

It noticed, too, all man’s oppression

To fellow humans. Their aggression

Would soon destroy the planet Earth

And turn the bountiful to dearth.

Too late to make a course correction,

It thought about what it should do

To folks who didn’t have a clue.

Then thought it would make a connection.

“When I flyby again I’ll whack

Them good. Don’t worry. I’ll be back.”

GOD’S VIEW ON SANTORUM’S VIEWS ON SEX

2011-11-15T11:03:00.000-08:00

When God heard candidate Santorum

Pronouncing what he thought of sex,

He gathered all the saints in forum

Who voted it to be Brand X.

One said his wife was so migraial,

It calmed her when they did it anal;

Another said that he was gay

And he, too, used that passageway;

Another said that masturbation

Was what she really liked to do.

God thought and said, “He has no clue.

That pleasure’s for ejaculation.

Why does he think I gave them holes?

To use with all their hearts and souls.”

GOD’S MESSIN’ WITH YA, HERM

2011-11-15T10:56:00.001-08:00

Herm prayed to God said, My Lord, he

Was questioning if he should run?

And God, who was a little bored, He

Bethought Himself to have some fun.

“So Pizza Man beseeches favor

To be the GOP’s flag-waver.

They, all of them, are second-rate;

Not fit to guide a ship of state.”

But God said, “Yes. When you’re debating

The moderator will ask you

As president what would you do

If you caught your wife demonstrating

That marriage rights be had by gays.

And you will say, ‘I’d throw bouquets.’ ”

A SOLDIER’S DECLARATION OF WAR (FOR OCCUPY WALL STREET)

2011-11-11T11:33:00.000-08:00

A soldier who was decorated

For killing of his country’s foes

Has ended being deprecated

For fighting back his country’s woes.

The shrinks told him he was a fighter

Who acted now as an outsider

By joining Occupy Wall Street

Which only argued for retreat.

The soldier said, “We were oppressors.

Those people didn’t do to me

What bankers did, the powers that be.

Wall Streeters are the real transgressors:

Because I couldn’t pay their loan,

They stripped my family to the bone.”

THE PROUD LIBERAL *

2011-11-11T09:30:00.000-08:00

Observe the liberal after voting,

Contentment beaming on his face.

It’s hard to say he isn’t gloating

His liberty is based on race?

Although they would deny the knavery,

Their fortunes were derived from slavery:

A country built on coloreds’ backs

Of both the natives and the blacks.

The natives were exterminated;

The blacks, of course, lived on as slaves

Who found their freedom in their graves.

The Libs must be congratulated:

They built a land where rich whites bud

When planted in their victims’ blood.

* Liberalism is the reigning political ideology in the US whether it is expressed by the Republican or Democratic parties.

THE DEFINITION OF A LIBERAL

2011-11-10T11:46:00.000-08:00

A “liberal” is one wants justice

For anyone is white and male;

And who demands, if others cussed us,

It is the last breath they inhale;

A white man who upholds black slavery;

And hangs the poor for their depravery;

Who thinks a woman is a bitch

Is meant to scratch his every itch;

Who has no feeling for the “other”

In places white men don’t control

Because the “other” has no soul;

Who rails and fights against Big Brother

Unless, of course, Big Brother’s white

And helps promote the “others” plight.

EDUCATION’S CATCH-22

2011-11-10T11:09:00.000-08:00

The teacher was so busy testing

She’d very little time to teach;

And so was charged when manifesting

Her indignation with a screech.

Before the Board of Education

She let loose with her indignation

And claimed with testing paramount

She couldn’t teach the kids to count,

Do reading, writing, history, science.

Just what was she supposed to do

When taking tests was all they knew?

The Board of Ed said noncompliance

With policies that they desired

Left them no choice. The teacher’s fired.

Michele Bachmann Would Add . . . To Mount Rushmore?

2011-11-08T11:04:00.000-08:00

Mt. Rushmore needs another model:

The face of Jesus on the Mount

While preaching to us at full throttle

About our mounting body count.

He’d say to us, “Your Christian nation

Has fallen into degradation

Participating in the wars

That your Almighty God abhors.

You would be better represented

By Satan for the Indians killed;

Or slaves and workers you've treadmilled.

All these and more should be lamented.

A Christian nation helps the poor.

Ms. Bachmann you’re a certain boor.”

A STATEMENT BY ANONYMOUS ABOUT HERMAN CAIN

2011-11-08T11:01:00.000-08:00

When Herm and I went out together

I asked his help to get me hired.

He took his hand and touched my nether

And said I’d get what I desired,

If I unzipped and sucked his penis

Then stuck it up my open Venus.

Well I was shocked and looked at Herm

And said you mean that little worm?

He shouted all you little bitches

Want something from me but won’t give

Enough to live and to let live.

And I replied with all your riches

There must be someway that you could

Be doctored so you could raise wood.

JUDGMENT DAY

2011-11-08T09:16:00.000-08:00

I try to write with authenticity

About the world in which I live;

But cannot help my eccentricity

Of writing my rhymes with a shiv.

I’d slit the throats of politicians,

And preachers with their expositions

Of what it’s like to live in hell

Without a clue that’s where we dwell.

If rhyming verse proves insufficient

Especially in satire’s form

Then we will have to take by storm

These clods who mostly prove deficient;

Or else they’re lying. Come what may

We’ll slit their throats on Judgment Day.

ALIENS ON EARTH

2011-11-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

The White House said on our home planet

No ET’s have as yet been found.

I beg to differ. If you’ll scan it

You’ll find that they’re preparing ground:

They’re organized. They're hale and hearty,

And call themselves the Grand Old Party.

They’d do away with all controls

Like dirtying our water holes;

And work promoting air pollution

And all the things that humans share,

While denigrating good health care.

The Democrats have no solution

Because they’re equally ET’s

Who, like The GOP, spread sleaze.

PROPOSAL FOR TEACHING SEX EDUCATION

2011-11-04T10:32:00.000-07:00

In US schools, sex education

Should only be taught by the pros;

So I suggest those whose vocation

Is making porno videos.

Especially the female actors

Who can discuss familiar factors

Like how a girl slacks her crevasse

So she can take it up the ass.

The age of virtual reality

Demands no less for kids watch porn

In which the male with his longhorn

Could easily cause some fatality.

Then all of those who pass the test

Appear in movies as a guest.

BLESS ME, FATHER, FOR I HAVE SINNED

2011-11-02T15:28:00.000-07:00

The men behind the war on women

Are Catholic bishops. That’s not news.

The Bible says it was Eve’s sinnin’

That brought this on: no right to choose.

Of course it’s not a sin suffusing

Their priestly semen when it’s oozing

Into the holes of little kids

For all know priests have outlaw ids.

But when they argue that abortion

Is sinning, what of their pastimes?

They’ll rank in Hell the worst of crimes.

Abortion though gives them a chance

Of dodging victims in knee pants.

HYPOCRISY

2011-10-20T09:21:00.000-07:00

6-6-6

9-9-9

One night the devil was conversing

With his expectant Herman Cain,

When suddenly he started cursing

And Herman thought, “I’m down the drain.”

“Please, Brother,” Herm said, “on the level

I promised you I’d raise the devil.

And you can see I’ve kept my vow.

What more can I do for you now?”

“You promised me a devilocracy,”

Old Satan said. “With me in charge.

And you ambassador-at-large.

And so I curse you for hypocrisy.”

“But, Satan, in our politics

You can’t flat tax at 6-6-6.”