TRUMPED

Said Donald Trump to Humpty Dumpty:

“But tell me what I should have done.”

“I hate to say, Sir. He out trumped ye. 

Forgive me.  I so loves a pun.

You should have moved heaven and earth, Sir,

To prove you were no kind of ‘birther.’

A man who wants to wear his crown

Is serious.  You played the clown.

For that you’ll never be forgiven. 

But worry, Sir. He let you fall!

And claimed you’re simply ‘off the wall.’

Which means that you are cracked and riven.

But rest assured all the kings men   

Will reassemble you again.”

501(c) (4): U.S.TAX CODE OR DEATH CAMP NUMBER? *

A policy of imitation,

The highest form of flattery,

Allows a Democrat’s donation

To help subvert democracy:

By letting Dems remain anonymous

When giving, they’ve become synonymous

With Karl Rove’s Crossroads GPS

Which marshaled his right-wing success

In 2010’s mid-term elections.

This imitation’s oligopoly.

But all know there’s no news in that.

The rich Dems are republicrat

Which means they too stand for monopoly.

But when will Dems remember “gramps”

And help reopen his death camps?

* 501 (c) (4) allows the rich to contribute to political campaigns without limit. Nor are the organizations that receive this money required to disclose the names of the donors. (President Obama claims to be opposed to this way of garnering funds for campaigns.) Inspired by the NYT article of April 30,2011. 

FROM rst2536 TO OLETHEA

She is a HuffPo superuser,

So dumps her comments far and wide.

It doesn’t matter I confuse her                   

For Arianna is her guide.                               

She gave her liberty to slaver

The drivel of reform’s palaver 

In comments off the top her head              

From articles through which she’d sped.                                

She’d love to be a moderator                    

Deciding what she think’s perverse

Like rst’s satiric verse.

A liberal pontificator,

She blows me off with LOL.

(In truth, she’d lock me in a cell.)

A RECENT ASSIGNMENT FOR MY 7th GRADE HISTORY STUDENTS: WRITE A PARAGRAPH EXPLAINING WHETHER THE CRUSADES HAD A LASTING IMPACT ON EUROPEAN CULTURE? (CALIFORNIA HISTORY STANDARD H7.6.6 AND CALIFORNIA WRITING STANDARD W2.4)

  Crusades impacted Europeans.

First, they increased cross-country trade

For goods feudal epicureans

Delighted in that Asians made.

Second, their knights were catalytic

In breeding hate, anti-Semitic,

Which led to Hitler’s killing Jews

And still feeds people’s racist views.

Third, Ferdinand and Isabella,

With all their knights, reconquered Spain

And drove Islam across the main

Which finally helped out that brave fella,

Columbus.  In conclusion, you

Descend from 1492.

“Lindsay Lohan Gets 'Tonight Show' Ovation, Talks Jail Sentence”

“I find my sentence really shocking.

So much so it has left me numb.

My lawyers though are fast, smooth-talking,

So I’ve no fear.  It’s so ho-hum.

I picked a necklace up.  Forgot it.

Walked out the store before I bought it.

Possession is nine tenths of law.

So why this wanton brouhaha?

While sitting here I say forthrightly:

The law can blow it out its ear.

Or, better, stick it up its rear.

The only thing that worries slightly

But only slightly: I’ll be seen

As one who rivals Charlie Sheen.”

A (TYPICAL) GITMO CONFESSION

“I’m stuck here in interrogation,

At Gitmo for some several years,

Based solely on documentation

Was given them by mousesketeers

At Disneyland.  It’s so demeaning.

I find a paper.  I was cleaning.

It’s written out in Arabic.

(Some kind of ad for nervous tic).

They tell the CIA I’m planting

A bomb to blow up Disneyland.

They tortured me with their demand.

And tell me I can’t be recanting.

I asked them, ‘What you want to hear?’

They told me, ‘You say Mickey’s queer.’”

CALIFORNIA STANDARDS TESTING

“Gee whiz when it comes time for testing,

I’m really going to try my best

Because I don’t want them arresting

My teachers cause I blew the test.

Ms. Davis says that’s what they’ll do to

My teachers. She’s stuck in deep dodo.

I wouldn’t want to be the cause

For any of them breaking laws.

No.  This year no more lollygagging,

As I did every year before.

Of course a student should explore

The possibility of snagging                                                                               

Something.  I keep her out the stocks…  

And she takes me on nature walks!”  

AN ESCORT’S AD

"Hey, gentlemen, and couples, women,

My name is Barbie. I’m on call.

So get in touch.  My passion’s sinnin’.

I’d love to drive you up the wall.

Whatever gets you stimulated,

I’m here to leave you satiated.

My body is a perfect ten.

So call me if you have a yen

For conversation, 'acrobatics.'

These pictures are the real me.

So giddy-up. RSVP.

And after we’ve discussed 'mathematics,'

I guarantee a night’s delight.

Be quick!  I’m off on my Fulbright."

“GUNS ARE WHY AMERICA IS STILL (?) FREE.” *

Guns didn’t stop them from promoting

The laws that say I cannot smoke;

They did delay the Blacks from voting

But don’t have much effect on coke.

They helped delay us forming unions;

And kept the Catholics from communions. 

They didn’t stop financial swells

From trapping us in their cartels.

Yet guns can help with your composure

In many situations such

As stopping those whose Midas touch

Has put your mortgage in foreclosure.

A neighborhood prepared to shoot…

How many more might follow suit?

* There are 250 million guns in the U.S.

ABANDON SOAP WHO ENTER HERE

Who can express their indignation

At what the government has done

By beggaring the population?

And all of this has just begun.

Not due alone to Speaker Boehner;

But to the Man of Hope, campaigner

Obama, who claimed dialogue       

Would benefit the underdog.

But when it comes time for the budget:

Abandon hope who enter here

You’re going to take it up the rear.

It’s not, he says, that he’d begrudge it,

He’s certainly no misanthrope,

But can’t afford KY or soap.

GOVERNMENT BY PEOPLE WHO HATE YOU

They pledge allegiance to the voters

(Whom they can hardly wait to screw)

So we’ll all end as blissful doters  

Who haven’t got the slightest clue 

About the greed of corporations

Restructuring social relations

By privatizing public trusts

To benefit the uppercrusts.

And in the name of “God’s own market,”

They utilize the culture wars

To beat us with these two-by-fours

So there’s no doubt that we won’t hark it:

That we’ve been flimflammed by their stealth

While plundering our commonwealth.

CHINESE CRITICISM OF U.S. HUMAN RIGHTS

The human rights of corporations

Are guaranteed, though they can’t vote.

Yet, even so, their huge donations

Will succor pols who float their boat.

For who invests in politicians

Will finally decide renditions;

And whom we’ll lock away in jails

While pulling out their fingernails.

All done to counter “terrorism,”

While bankers made a killing on

Home loans they floated as a con.

So listen: Chinese criticism

About our dismal human rights

Record is apt, despite their blights.

CHRISTIAN PORNOGRAPHY

Americans take porn too seriously

So they debate it all the time.

Opinions vary so deliriously:

While Christians say it’s awful slime;

The others say that that’s a libel

Considering it’s in the Bible.

Did you forget the daughters Lot

Who got him drunk and fucked the sot?

He’d offered up these self-same daughters

To keep the mob out of his house.

Why not his headstrong, salty spouse 

To deal with men he thought were rotters?

The Bible is a moral guide

So why should pornos be decried?

AMERICANS AND INCOME INEQUALITY

Americans think inequality

Of income is a passing phase.

We don’t approach it as a polity

Because we stumble in a daze

Promototed by the corporations,

Evangelized by their foundations:

Avowing we can all be rich.   

And so we work at fever pitch

Increasingly creating value

Which let’s them nail us to their cross

Of hoping one day we’ll be boss.

Insidious how they corral you.

We, lifelong, give them all we’re worth,

Then, meekly, we inherit earth.

A SECOND TERM!

To gain a second term, Obama

Should demonstrate we weren’t all dopes

When arguing the national trauma

Would end.  He was the man our hopes

Were focused on from the beginning.

But now, approaching his ninth inning,

Were still mired in Afghanistan,

Where he’s our number one hit man.

He promised he’d restrain the bankers:

Would never suffer their increase

Of income.  But his Golden Fleece

Of taxes showed us we were wankers.

Because of these, he’ll surely earn

A presidential second term.

LIQUOR STORE STICK UP ( A RAP IN OTTAVA RIMA)

1

Clerk counted the cash; made a time lock drop;

Fingers tell him "take it" but legs won't walk.

Near closing time at the Liquor Quick Stop,

When a whore drags in off the auction block.

Orient eyes say for a pint she'll swap

Whatever he wants from her private stock.

Clerk's wife and kids home snuggled down in bed;

While down behind the counter whore gives head.

2

Out on the street they call her Miss Saigon-

Mouth and pussy hot as a napalm bomb;

A war bride's baby whose daddy moved on;

She learned sucky-fuck from her Viet mom.

Pro at 14; was a cop her first john,

Used to be a grunt in the Vietnam.

Caught, dealing dope, she stuck her ass up bare;

Said: Cop, take a shot with your ground-to-air.

3

Down on her knees showing silicone tit,

Once a soft touch now insensible brick.

Her cat scratch tongue and lips and hand don't quit

Till she's sucked him bone dry and slurped his thick.

Her eyes smile up, but stare in her obit;

Handbags got a gun but she ain't that quick.

Very last thought before she's bagged airtight:

White motherfucker got it free tonight.

 4

Drags her in a storeroom; dick still erect;

He ain't felt this good since he left Art Tech.

Tops in his class at the Special Effect;

The Movies said: Genius, write your own check.

Too much, too soon, and he totally wrecked;

Lucky that his lady studied home-ec.

Then staring down at delirium's titty,

He saw his road back to living Fat City.

5

Props her in a chair; wrestles off her dress;

Steps back and whistles at his late night guest;

Thinks: Doc did her tits was genius, no less,

Carved Botticelli's on a silk thin chest.

He bends down close pets her pussy's recess

Knows it was trophied in the old time West;

Sets in to skin it with a razor blade;

Now he's got a pussy scalp custom made.

6

He weaves the silky pelt through his gold throat chain,

A spoil of war in the human skin game;

Been played like that since the Abel and Cain;

"Victim" is History"s immortal brand name.

Each against all for the capital gain.

Justified Sinners make the Halls of Fame;

Like Natural Born Scientists in Nobel guise

Helped "give 'em hell" Harry make Nippon fries.

7

Clerk only wants the American Dream;

Doesn't give a shit its history's obscene;

Doesn't give a damn who he's got to demean

To get his credits on the silver screen.

Thinks: a whore, no matter how it might seem,

Just ain't human- it's a vending machine.

He hurries back up front to shut the store;

Then cleans the "change" she dropped at Death's door.

8

Time to start work: he ropes her ankles tight;

Hangs her head downward from a ceiling pipe.

Then slits her wrists with a razor blade's bite-

Got to drain blood before she turns to ripe.

Splits her flat belly; spills her guts outright,

Swabbing out the hollow using Handiwipe.

Rub a dub dub blood and guts in a tub

Thinks: I'm halfway back to the Country Club.

9

Cuts her carcass down; folds back her new crack-

Butchered piece of meat got to be repacked.

Lugs out a carton of Maxi Pad Pack;

Soaks it in rum make a taste your last act.

A wino said it's like drinking shellac;

Just what he needs to hold her gut intact.

Just to make certain her neck holds her head,

He scoops out her brain places pads instead.

10

Sealed with plastic tape from her breasts to clit,

Hangs her up again with an I.V. drip;

Booze filled veins start to harden like her tit;

Thinks: what a shame he can't take a last dip.

Suddenly though from his brain's snake pit

Crawls an idea from a snuff film clip:

Hard, he cuts her down, shoves his closest kin

Up her "dinky" ass till rigor sets in.

11

Sits down in a chair with the whore on top,

One hand grabs tit while its brother hooks twat;

Her asshole squeezes till his eyeballs pop;

It's time to pull out but his prick stays caught.

Pumps her up and down but she won't co-op;

His dick is stuck fast up her asshole's grot.

The bump and grind makes his semen explode

Which acts the enema on her last load.

12

His dick slicks free slimied sticky stink brown;

Grabs his ground-to-air glad it's safe and sound;

Cleans up her pile, washes both of them down;

Now to get her dressed, get her posed hardbound.

Wrestles on her mini- the street deb's gown.

It's meant to hook the interest that banks compound.

Rich debs sell it at "till death do you part;"

While a street deb peddles it a la carte.

13

Lifts her from the chair then sticks up her ass

A long-handled broom helps her stand steadfast;

He smoothes down her dress, makes her up first class,

But he can't hide the truth that her eyes broadcast.

Dark glasses cover up what he's brought to pass;

Now one last trick to make his icon last:

From her short black hair to her feet high-heeled,

He spray coats his sculpture with Scotchguard Shield.

14

Like Greek Galatea she thrills his pride;

But now the myth's been Americanized:

She's no sex object; she can't be a bride;

She's American woman idolized.

He's gone extreme that's pretty cut and dried;

But he's just a man Americanized:

He makes his money any way he can;

And now she's a star in the store's floor plan.

15

Hidden in the racks of the best champagne,

One hand holds a gun, the other a frame.

(No stick's needed now to help her feign

A threatening pose in the clerk’s con game.)

She's turned toward the wall, "pardon-me's" are vain

So you rub on past this deaf and dud dame;

Your heart almost stops when you see her gun

Then you get the joke and you poke some fun.

16

His agent came and looked; said, "I'd swear it bleeds.

What you've done only genius could conceive.

You've made from trash a figure that concedes

The desperate life of a modern Eve.

The gun in her hand shows where it all leads,

If you don't keep them locked in make believe.

You're back on the Movies' Most Wanted List;

But dump the body, boy, just in case it's missed."