EDUCATION’S CATCH-22

The teacher was so busy testing

She’d very little time to teach;

And so was charged when manifesting

Her indignation with a screech.

Before the Board of Education

She let loose with her indignation

And claimed with testing paramount

She couldn’t teach the kids to count,

Do reading, writing, history, science.

Just what was she supposed to do

When taking tests was all they knew?

The Board of Ed said noncompliance

With policies that they desired

Left them no choice. The teacher’s fired.

Michele Bachmann Would Add . . . To Mount Rushmore?

Mt. Rushmore needs another model:

The face of Jesus on the Mount

While preaching to us at full throttle

About our mounting body count.

He’d say to us, “Your Christian nation

Has fallen into degradation

Participating in the wars

That your Almighty God abhors.

You would be better represented

By Satan for the Indians killed;

Or slaves and workers you've  treadmilled.

All these and more should be lamented.

A Christian nation helps the poor.

Ms. Bachmann you’re a certain boor.”

A STATEMENT BY ANONYMOUS ABOUT HERMAN CAIN

When Herm and I went out together

I asked his help to get me hired.

He took his hand and touched my nether

And said I’d get what I desired,

If I unzipped and sucked his penis

Then stuck it up my open Venus.

Well I was shocked and looked at Herm

And said you mean that little worm?

He shouted all you little bitches

Want something from me but won’t give

Enough to live and to let live.

And I replied with all your riches

There must be someway that you could

Be doctored so you could raise wood.

JUDGMENT DAY

I try to write with authenticity

About the world in which I live;

But cannot help my eccentricity

Of writing my rhymes with a shiv.

I’d slit the throats of politicians,

And preachers with their expositions

Of what it’s like to live in hell

Without a clue that’s where we dwell.

If rhyming verse proves insufficient

Especially in satire’s form

Then we will have to take by storm

These clods who mostly prove deficient;

Or else they’re lying. Come what may

We’ll slit their throats on Judgment Day.

ALIENS ON EARTH

The White House said on our home planet

No ET’s have as yet been found.

I beg to differ. If you’ll scan it

You’ll find that they’re preparing ground:

They’re organized. They're hale and hearty,

And call themselves the Grand Old Party.

They’d do away with all controls

Like dirtying our water holes;

And work promoting air pollution

And all the things that humans share,

While denigrating good health care.

The Democrats have no solution

Because they’re equally ET’s

Who, like The GOP, spread sleaze.

PROPOSAL FOR TEACHING SEX EDUCATION

In US schools, sex education

Should only be taught by the pros;

So I suggest those whose vocation

Is making porno videos.

Especially the female actors

Who can discuss familiar factors

Like how a girl slacks her crevasse

So she can take it up the ass.    

The age of virtual reality

Demands no less for kids watch porn

In which the male with his longhorn

Could easily cause some fatality.

Then all of those who pass the test

Appear in movies as a guest.

BLESS ME, FATHER, FOR I HAVE SINNED

The men behind the war on women

Are Catholic bishops.  That’s not news.

The Bible says it was Eve’s sinnin’

That brought this on: no right to choose.

Of course it’s not a sin suffusing

Their priestly semen when it’s oozing

Into the holes of little kids

For all know priests have outlaw ids.

But when they argue that abortion

Is sinning, what of their pastimes?

They’ll rank in Hell the worst of crimes.

Abortion though gives them a chance

Of dodging victims in knee pants.