PERVE

“I pray to you, O Holy Father,
Who represents Our Lord on earth
But Whom I’d rather not now bother
(Although He was of virgin birth)
To bless me with your intercession
And so I would make my confession
To you, O Pontiff. Hear me, please.
Il Papa, I’m on bended knees
And beg you for your consecration.
Allow me, please, to kiss your ring;
And, if you want… your other thing.
Cure Mother Church of aggravation
So we can go on saving souls…
But, Pontiff, O… their buttonholes…”

EXCERPT FROM THE PRESIDENTIAL INAGURAL ADDRESS, 2012

“I’ve sworn upon this Holy Bible
That I will never separate
(Or else may I be hanged a libel)
The Holy Christian Church and state;
And will amend the Constitution
So it provides for execution
Of any whose formal address
Does not include the phrase ‘God Bless;’
And pledge to use my lawful power
On any pro gay marriage laws,
Or women who have burned their bras,
Or any who’d despise Jack Bauer.
Let liberals suffer Christian wrath
In final vengeance for new math…”

GIRL FIGHT

Liz Cheney is new competition
For Sister Sarah Palin who
Has sent all others to perdition
Because they made a big to-do
About the fact that her undoing
Was her performance interviewing.
It’s Sarah Palin, theocon,
Against Liz Cheney, neocon.
But Lizzy is Dick Cheney’s daughter,
A woman who each night she dreams
Hears lawyers racked with tortured screams.
I tremble at the coming slaughter-
A girl fight over politics
When both of them are "chicks" of Dick’s.

THE CONSCIENCE OF A BANKER (WHO ASKED NOT TO BE IDENTIFIED)

“I was a Goldman megabanker
Who moved from Goldman Sachs to Chase
But this engendered so much rancor
I feel that I must state my case:
It really shocked the whole profession
That Goldman started this recession
Then asked the feds to go our bail
By claiming, ‘We’re too big to fail.’
Well… true enough but that’s no reason
To land us in the blogs’ tabloids
As preternatural hemorrhoids.
My conscience thinks of this treason;
And so I moved, with no regrets,
Where I now trade in national debts.”

SUPER LOTTO DEMOCRACY

“A moneyed democratic polity-
Where each alone is free to strive
To lift himself out of equality
Of being a member of the hive-
Can’t be allowed the immorality
Of taxing me into frugality.
Instead of cars, vacations, boats,
My income goes to buying votes
Of Congressmen on tax committees.
Who gives a shit how many poor
Can’t live the life of epicure?
That’s why we’ve got Atlantic Cities
And lotteries: to scratch the itch
That lets them think they’ll strike it rich.”

ERUPTION

From Iceland’s rock, a call of nature
Erupted dumping clouds of ash
On Europe so their legislature
Has proffered pots and pots of cash
To who drops megatons of Drano
Into the mouth of this volcano
And helps dissolve this archetype
Of Mother Nature’s sewer pipe.
Alas, this puny interaction
Has failed to get them free and clear.
But poisoning the atmosphere
Has brought new life and satisfaction
To BIG POLLUTION’S dialogue
About the greatest source of smog.

JIM CROW (for EARL MAL)

“I’m just a redneck motherfucker;
But don’t mean I ain’t got no brains,
So don’t think I’m some fucked Klu Kluker
Believes the blacks ride gravy trains
Into the land a Hallelujah.
Us good ole boys can sometimes fool ya.
I worked with coloreds in the mines.
We’re all dogs there. A man’s bloodlines
Don’t count for shit when you’re a worker.
You either pull your load or don’t.
Ain’t never heard a black say, “Won’t.”
Knew one ole boy, a stone berserker,
So kind a hard to get to know,
Taught me to hate this guy Jim Crow.”