BUSH'S MONICA PROBLEM

“Ms. Goodling, you have just admitted
You acted on behalf of Bush
To find out all who weren’t committed
To him. You gave a little… push
To women, men who didn’t measure
Up to the man you so much treasure.
Was all of this your own design?
Did Bush or Rove…” “I crossed the line.
I had to make some tough decisions.”
“Like?” “ Who might lie down on their jobs.
You know we get some awful snobs.
As well, I checked for circumcisions…”
“But, Monica…” “Oh, not for sex
They merely were... security checks.

“Besides you know I’ll never swallow
That justice comes from manmade law.
It is Lord Jesus whom I follow
Or, rather, God’s ménage a trios-
The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit-
That helps decide if I’ll revere it.
If Jesus calls upon me to
Decide who comes red, white, and blue,
Then who am I that I would question
What Jesus in God’s name has said?
I'd rather lose my maidenhead.
So in reply to your suggestion,
It’s true I gave a little push
Whom God foretold would turn on Bush.

“But as for having those relations
In which I’d lose my maidenhead,
I found out all their situations
And never took a one to bed.
By laying hands upon a penis;
Or woman on her mound of Venus,
I’d ask if Jesus was their pard,
Who has a crush on Andrew Card.
These served me as a lie detector;
And if their juices didn’t flow,
It’s true they got the old heave-ho.”
“You’ve worked as well the private sector?”
“Yes. For a while I've helped research
Who might besmirch the Catholic Church.”