One day the god heard some despondence,
As he walked out to take the air.
It came, of course, as correspondence
Delivered in the form of prayer.
The prayer was filled with testimony
About the god’s once greatest crony,
Old Satan, who had been reborn
The undisputed king of porn.
The prayer came from a congregation
Of porn stars on the Internet
Who’d done a series, Teacher’s Pet.
It seemed what caused their consternation
Was when too old for teenage roles
They couldn’t play the teacher’s holes.
2
“My god,” he thought, “the trials of labor.
But what am I supposed to do?
Why can’t he play the friendly neighbor
And graduate the comely crew?”
Believing this unfair of Satan,
He thought to sentence him to Dayton:
A woman might start out a sylph
But time transformed her to a milf.
“I can’t control the march of aging.
No woman stays forever young
And as they age they come unstrung.”
Besides he found the milfs engaging,
Especially with their phony tits
And suction pumps to plump their clits.
3
So walking back the god decided
That it was right he take their side.
He thought the Satan quite misguided,
Especially since Nabokov died.
The Satan thought la dolce vita
Is better spent with some Lolita,
Imagining they’d have no frays.
The fool was wandering in a haze.
Too, he admired their supplication:
They mostly prayed that it would pass
When taking boners up the ass,
Apparently an aggravation.
And so he called his only son
To see what maybe could be done.
4
And so he called for his son, Jesus,
Explaining what he wanted done.
“My son, it would so greatly please us
If you will go, my hired gun,
And stop the Satan’s undermining
Of women’s labor rights by signing
A contract saying that nymphets
Can play the milfs in Teacher’s Pets.”
“You want to start a labor union,”
Said Jesus. “Oh no! God forbid!
That would inflame the workers’ id.
No bring them both into communion.
That way no one’s left in the lurch
And might get some to go to church.”
(TO BE CONTINUED)
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