DUNCES PART 1

1

Why is it that in EDUCATION,
At least as practiced in L.A.,
The teachers suffer degration
From those could hardly teach a day
With students-whom they thought were stupid;
And so, like that, began to cupid
With principals and their APs
Becoming their fast devotees.
Eventually, these "educators"
(Who failed the elementary kids
And more the adolescent ids)
Become teachers' administrators-
Which means good teachers bear affronts
From one they knew as kiss ass DUNCE.

2
So they begin administration
Before their burn-out time's begun;
Before they've suffered dislocation
And think their home phone's 911;
Who've never even taught a standard
So haven't lasted to be slandered
As second rate to be replaced
And dumped as academic waste.
And if you think this too simplistic,
Do you remember anecdotes,
From your old job, on how shit floats?
For these define opportunistic-
Not risen high by skill in class;
But rather skill in kissing ass.

3

And then, of course, there's L.A.'s savior-
His Honor, Mayor Antonio-
Who'll right the students' school behavior
By miracles ex nihilo.
He doesn't want to play doomsayer
But owes it to a school's taxpayer
To be in charge of all the schools
As Bloomberg is. He sits and drools
About the power goes with awarding
The billions for necessities;
And how supplier devotees
Will afterwards help by supporting
His chance at grabbing the brass ring.
Methinks he's watched too much "West Wing."

4
But Tony could have used a mentor-
Shot down as he was by the Courts
Which argued that his civic center
Was to the right in moral supports.
The Courts claimed Tonio's immersion
In education was subversion
Of voters' rights and ruled instead
For the elected Board of Ed.
They argued that the mayor's position
Would carry things a bit too far
(Were too polite to say bizarre),
For Tony thought he had permission
To grant the running of the schools
To nonelected half-wit fools.

5

And so Mayor Tony came a cropper.
He lost support from Eli Broad
Who is L.A.'s compulsive shopper
Whenever there's a mother lode
Of money to be made. Asserting
That L.A.'s schools are disconcerting
And blaming teachers for the mess,
He would apply a full-court press
If only he had opportunity.
He'd drop our union in the soup
As just another interest group
Opposed to L.A.'s poor commumity.
Now at a loss for what to do,
He wants it done and PDQ.

6

So he invests in GREEN DOT charters
Who'll get results if malcontents
Don't force them to the wall as martyrs
By racking them for evidence
That even though a corporation
They are providing education;
And we should pay to wait and see.
No money back's their guarantee.
Now what they promise their "consumer"
Is education so hard-core
It's been unheard of heretofore.
But,"sadly," they're put out of humor
When kids from public- public schools,
At testing time, make theirs look fools.

7

The CHARTERS try to siphon students
Away from "failing" public schools.
But "failure" means a lack of prudence
On parents' parts. These are damn fools
Allowing overgrown thumb suckers
To get to high school jiveass shuckers-
Who bait a teacher in her class;
And, coming home, spew naught but sass.
"To parent" means responsibility
For taming the outrageous id
That blossoms out in any kid
Until it's gentled to civility.
But parents claim they have to work;
Expecting schools to train their jerk.

8

So teaching these small time barbarians
Means others suffer those retained,
As teachers play disciplinarians
To those whose minds aren't potty-trained.
But students who aren't pre-histoical
And use the teacher as an oracle;
Do homework, bring their books to class;
Don't play the fool, or act the ass
Have found their SAT scores rising-
A fact well hidden by the press
Which thrives on failure not success;
And by right-wingers theorizing
That education's apogee
Will come when paid for COD.

9

And so the RIGHT demanded vouchers
For parents who'd seen others' kids
Return from school as slack-jawed slouchers
Whose grades were always on the skids.
They couldn't see that these kids parents
Were fucking up their heir apparents-
At home, these kids found parents most
Enraptured by a talk-show host;
And, consequently, no discussion
Of anything that would up front
Be more demanding than a grunt
Was ever broached. They'd risk concussion.
No wonder these kids can't forbear
From acting out. Who'd even care?

10

And what about these numbskull parents
Who go to work, come home, TV;
And offer children their forebearance
As long as they'll just let them be;
Who sit and gape at Jerry Springer;
Or dream they'd make an "Idol" singer;
Who imitate the woebegones
Who play the Simpsons on "sitcons?"
Since parents can't be held accountable-
Whenever their kid's misbehaved
Or even if s/he acts depraved-
This obstacle's not insurmountable.
And so I offer schools some cues
On how to teach the "born to lose."

11

Here let me make then two proposals.
I think no teacher'd be averse
(Except the devotees of Kozol's)
To having aides to help coerce
The student rowdy who starts shouting,
Or even just a student flouting
A teacher trying to teach her class
Who'd disappear his shameless ass;
And ship him off to some location-
Perhaps a city in Iraq,
Or California prison block-
Where s/he will suffer true damnation
For just a year (I'd not be cruel)
And then let them return to school.

12

Or what about just guillotineing
An innocent in middle school
On her first day when bright with preening
You demonstrate that awful tool?
When she's invited up all trembly
Before the students in assembly;
And when her little head's cut off
And lifted out the bloody trough,
The principal shouts from the scaffold:
"This student died a painless death
With hardly time to catch her breath.
So listen up, if you're still baffled
Imagine how we'll make it last
If just one teacher says s/he's sassed."

13

I daresay these might prove a warning
To buckle down and study hard;
And might eliminate the scorning
That kids are prone to on the yard.
But most of all a teacher's classes
Might just be freed of little asses
Too terrified to make a fuss
For fear they might be turned to pus.
But what about administrators;
Or Green Dot Charters' Mr. Barr;
Or Mayor Tony as school tsar;
Or Eli Broad - emancipators
Who claim to speak vox populi
By giving teachers a black eye?

14

And then, of course, there's Margaret Spellings
Who pushes NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND
In hopes to see her vouchers' swellings
Make public schools shit or go blind.
She didn't manufacture crisis;
But uses it to sacrifice us,
The teachers, who are self-possessed
In unions she'd see laid to rest.
She claims she's speaking for the nation
Demanding that its test scores rise
Up to the artificial highs
That Bush and Cheney's calculation
Hope guarantee some good returns
By privatizing Ed concerns.

15

For money lies behind "THE CRISIS'"
About a hundred eighty mil.
It's all for this they slice and dice us;
And have created such ill will.
Once public schools are thought abortions,
The Right believes that their distortions
Will draw the Christian born agains
Into the public lions' dens
To run for school boards in elections;
Thus really wrecking public schools
By adding fires to the fuels
That have already caused defections-
Until you've schools for VIPs
And ones can't teach the ABCs.

16

The latter will be the majority,
For who needs workers who can read?
Why readers might defy authority;
Might figure out escape from greed.
Might figure capital's COLOSSUS
Has been set up to double-cross us
By stealing from us our surplus;
And all of this without much fuss.
And, too, without outright coercin'-
Unless you count not being paid
A force, perhaps, leaves you dismayed.
Nonreaders make a fine nonperson
Who'll disappear to be set free
A born again commodity.

17

But back to Margaret Spellings' vouchers.
They guarantee us two-tierd schools;
As well as giving slack-jawed slouchers
The right to go on acting fools-
In fact, encouraging the hellions
To really act out their rebellions,
Because when states' per pupil cost
Goes into vouchers what gets lost?
It's sad to say but it's the quality
Of education for the poor
Which justifies the saboteur
Against this savage inequality.
NO CHILD, designed by masterminds,
Assures poor kids ARE LEFT BEHINDS.

End Part 1