Tuesday, July 31, 2007

BUSH'S PSYCHOSIS

The doctors said the Bush psychosis
Was that he thought that civil laws
Were just a democrat’s neurosis,
Promoting deadly brouhahas.
While traveling south of Mason-Dixon
He said he stopped and talked to Nixon
Whose ghost said never compromise
Until you’ve left free enterprise
To solve your problems, like Somalia-
By filling up all their war zones
With self-help books and cell ring tones
Which would disperse their melancholia
And hailing fellows as well met,
They’d dine upon the diaper set.

(to be continued)

Monday, July 30, 2007

GRAVE DIGGERS

To hide that you have no intention
Of doing what you say you’ll do,
Agree "in principle." Pretension
Is better served when much ado
Is made to seem as though directed
Directly at those most affected-
A hedge fund buys a company
And claims in principle to be
Not interested in the splitting
Of assets just to make a buck.
Be certain, though, their claim’s a shuck.
For businessmen do what’s most fitting-
Leave workers as their helpless thralls
Who’ll finally build their Taj Mahals.

Friday, July 27, 2007

DELIGHT IN WAR ?

Delight in war is to the merit
Of soldiers; but in statesmen crime.
Their sons and daughters wouldn’t bear it;
But ours, whom they think are small-time,
Are sent in country to a billet
Where they learn quickly how to fillet
"Our" enemies in others’ lands-
In jungles or on desert sands.
If George Bush had to send his daughters
Or England send a royal prince,
It might not take long to convince
These “leaders” that their cannon fodders,
If precious to them as are ours,
Should never serve as steak tartares.

THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE WORLD

The longing eyes of politicians
Predict the ruin of the state.
They send out army expeditions
In hopes that they might captivate
Not enemies but their own nation;
And hope none see the usurpation
Of power which they would increase
By mounting on the mantelpiece
The pictures of our sons and daughters
Who, killed in action, seem to say
“I did it for the USA.”
So we approve the fire and slaughters
To justify them in repose,
As “statesmen” lead us by the nose.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE

It is always observable that the … sciences are the last to suffer under despotisms.
Dana

Who says that science doesn’t suffer
Under the despot W;
And sidekick Cheney who would snuff her
In favor of his witches brew
Of Christian freaks who claim that science
Is wrong when it’s not in compliance
With Bible teachers who believe
We are descended from an Eve?
Now Christians have a new museum
That shows that dinosaurs and man
Existed in the same time span,
Without the need to referee ‘em.
I’ve heard that people leave there awed-
Which always marks successful fraud.

WHY ALBERTO GONZALES HAS SURVIVED SO LONG

Gonzales, told of violations
Committed by the FBI
About the wrongful applications
Of letters that would sanctify
Their peeping into others’ business,
Denied it was a part of his mess.
Except these letters seemed to show
Alberto was about to go.
When told of this, Al grew more candid;
Said Edgar Hoover’d left behind
Some documents would change the mind
Of any who grew too high-handed.
And when he'd left the hearing room,
The senators adjourned in gloom.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

PURITANICALISM

A libertine's a nonconformist
Who knows s/he's happy having fun;
But that's what makes the Christians warmist
And why they want to overrun
All those whom they think are notorious
For living lives that aren't laborious-
Who gamble, drink, do drugs, love sex;
And, yes, who sometimes write bad checks.
If they could make a Christian golem,
They'd send him out to be a scorn
To men and women who make porn.
Like that...they'd snap your spinal column
For wanting really to be bad;
But not kill Muslims in Baghdad.

These Christians are the self-appointed,
Self-righteous guardians of men
And women; who think God anointed
Them to convert the lion's den
That has rejected Christianity
In favor of mankind's humanity;
Who think that common earthly blights
We might amend by human rights.
This thinking, though, leaves them scared shitless.
And rightly so. It would seem odd,
As children of whom they call God,
If He'd created us so witless,
We couldn't make a common cause
With "Others," as we do in-laws.

They're so absurdly puritanic:
When Janet Jackson flashed some breast
These Christians flew into a panic
(Some even died in the midwest),
Believing that "Jew" television
Was under Satan's supervision-
As was, they knew, the DMV
And, probably, the FCC.
They poured from homes and sought their preachers
Who knelt them in the streets to pray
In hopes this devil's devotee
Would suffer cancer to her "features."
Meanwhile, their forces in Iraq
Go killing Muslims block by block.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS (an evangelical plot ?)

Who hasn’t heard that making speeches
Or writing what you want to write
Is educational and teaches
Us how to recognize a blight?
But now we are to be corrected
So other folks won’t feel rejected
With words like “nigger,” “faggot,” “bitch”
That set folks off at fever pitch?
No doubt, these words are truly awful.
But how will progress ever dawn
If we restrict the lexicon
To what’s discreet and make it lawful?
What’s next? That government detain
Who take the name of god in vain?

INANITIES IN PUBLIC LIFE-THE KANSAS BOARD OF EDUCATION

The Kansas Board of Education
Has argued the descent of man
Is totally in violation
Of God Almighty’s master plan.
So they’ve abolished teaching science
Whenever it displays defiance
Of what the Bible says is true.
So gravity was made taboo.
For otherwise there’s no Ascension
Of Virgin Mary and her Son;
And then they’re stuck where they’ve begun-
On earth and dead in this dimension.
And no one wants to come to terms
With opening that can of worms.

FROM TOCQUEVILLE

It’s more than ever characteristic
That information from a spy
Is useless as a plan’s heuristic-
In fact it counts as pure sci-fi-
When government's luxuriation
In power is of short duration.
As peril grows it will decrease,
Till finally it’s known to cease,
Especially if the spies are liars.
What wasn’t counted as a sin
Means old spies take it on the chin
When newly minted occupiers
Of seats of power want their lies
To serve them as their own disguise.

BLAME

Who claims the U.S. is predacious
And blames it on George W,
Has fallen victim to fallacious
Polemics that s/he should see through.
Americans were categorical
In killing off the prehistorical
Natives they found on their own spread;
And did it after breaking bread.
Went pushing west in rough-and-tumble;
And left behind, besides heartbreak,
A people always on the take.
But now you hear these same folks grumble
At Bush and Cheney- anyone
Except who’s raised a native son.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

WHY RELIGION?

A blogger friend asked why religion
Was featured in my many posts.
I said I thought it but a smidgen.
But on consideration, roasts
Of God, the Holy Spirit, Jesus
Have figured in my exegesis
Of how we first must demonize
Whomever we would brutalize.
And, factually, Christian theology
Has always proved a seconal
In concert now with pro football
Before we practice our proctology
By dulling us with gravitas
Before the world pays through the ass.

A QUESTION FOR HILLARY/OBAMA

What say you, HILLARY/OBAMA?
Gay marriage is it moral or
Too much to handle, too much trauma?
Is it a question you abhor?
As presidential politicians,
Your own political beauticians
Who manicure your every word,
Both what you've said and what deterred,
Have tried to shape your commentary
So you can capture Christians who
Might otherwise bid you adieu.
But for the love of God and Mary-
Who had a kid but never wed-
Why can't gays share a marriage bed?

A PRAYER TO SIMMONIDES

All hail, almighty Simmonides
Who when rejected as a groom
Cursed in iambics high and mighties
Until they longed for deathly gloom.
Help me as well to be a pastor
That herds his foes to like disaster;
That blisters out a deadly curse
In octosyllables of verse.
Infuse me with your sense of humor
That I may torture on a wrack
All those who sent us to Iraq
And worse- I’d blossom to a tumor
Until at last George goes insane,
If I should find he has a brain.

Monday, July 23, 2007

VOTERS FOR GOD

I know that what I say’s committable;
But truly I’m by duty bound
To say religion’s not admittable
To test a candidate’s background.
But in this most religious nation
There’s certainly a correlation
Between what candidates may think
Of god and whether voters shrink
From giving votes. The prime condition:
The candidate believes in god.
To not do so means s/he’s outlawed;
Might even be tried for sedition-
For most folks think “In God We Trust”
Is, constitutionally, a must.

Just why this is should be debated;
But then we'd all be horrified
At what we found elucidated.
And once it was declassified,
You'd no doubt find it so appalling
You'd argue for the overhauling
Of who might vote and who should not;
But then democracy would rot.
So let it go. It's far too numbing.
Despite the fact we've been to school,
America is like Kabul.
While voters wait the second coming,
They substitute a candidate
Who'll pull it off as chief of state.

WORLD WARS

Who says that we are undermining
A world that longs for settled peace?
Since wars are growing not declining,
Who says the world wants wars to cease?
The world is filthy with aggression;
We’ve only made it our profession.
And fools who say atomic bombs
Could put an end to Vietnams,
Don’t get the point. Who makes a profit,
If all our enemies are dead?
Where would that leave us? In the red.
So all who want to Gorbachev it,
Should get a clue. For like chain stores,
We franchise out our world wars.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

" JAYSOOSIAN" ETHICS ( FOR TOD LINDBERG )

When doctors stop a man from dying
Or bring him back when he’s passed dead,
A preacher finds this mystifying
For given all that s/he has read
This is the province of Lord Jesus
According to the exegesis
Of testaments s/he feels are blessed.
But Jesus never cracked a chest,
Massaged a heart that started beating
Again though it’s reluctant to,
And brought us back when we’re passed due.
Perhaps we need another reading
Of Jesus as a man not god
Whose ethics we can all applaud.

Imagine if a Christian preacher
When preaching to her multitudes
Said in our lives we each should feature
What Jesus called beatitudes.
Not so we can achieve salvation
But just to make a better nation;
And all the earth a place to dwell
Instead of one drab prison cell.
To all of those who are not willing
To let us live the Golden Rule,
Who profit from the world cesspool-
Like Cheney with his oil drilling-
We’ll stand opposed to these outlaws
Until they join our common cause.

( to be continued )

THE SURGEON GENERAL'S NIGHTMARE

The Surgeon General reported
That Bush had urged he stay the course
And to announce if you aborted
Or had protected intercourse
You’d be declared a baby killer
And would be whipped tied to a pillar;
And after whipping you’d be boned
Then taken to a pit and stoned.
You’d then be shipped off to a Saudi
Where you’d be made to clean the dung
In his commode with just your tongue.
If you survived this, anybody
Could tie you to a minaret…
But then he woke all drenched in sweat.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

A CONVERSATION IN AN ARMY RECRUITING OFFICE IN LOS ANGELES

“The General says our recruiting
Has gone to hell. No end in sight.”
“If only they’d stop all this shooting,
We’d get some soldiers who would fight.”
“We take drug addicts; alcoholics;
And anorexic melancholics;
Convicted felons in their primes;
We’d even take a troop of mimes.”
“Or what about the holy rollers?
They don’t fear death for they’ve a yen
To prove they can be born again.”
“Hell. What about disgraced comptrollers?”
“I’d even take a Peter Pan;
But draw the line at Lindsey Lohan.”

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

BENEDICT'S VERSION OF SALVATION

The Pope declared that Man’s salvation
Depends upon the Catholic Church.
The others don’t lead to damnation;
But Benedict said his research
Showed them not churches but communities
That cannot offer full immunities
From occupying hellish cells
Where devils torture infidels.
The other Christians were united
In disapproving what he wrote;
But found themselves in the same boat
When Bene wrote Jews were misguided;
And making, without big to-dos,
An offer that they can’t refuse.


( to be continued )

Monday, July 16, 2007

JONAH AND LEVIATHAN

The federal government is hiring
Or will be soon as boomers near
The age at which they’ll need hot wiring
To even get them into gear.
Not only that but our futurity
Depends upon Homeland Security
To help ensure we are aligned
To praise George Bush as mastermind.
As Surgeon General Carmona
Found when he wasn’t in accord
With Bush and was thrown overboard,
As once was thrown that other Jonah;
But like the first, from out the whale,
Carmona lived to tell his tale.

Friday, July 13, 2007

MAYOR ANTONIO VILLARAIGOSA PROPOSES TO MIRTHALA SALINAS

Mayor Tony said to Ms. Salinas:
“Mirthala, take a ride with me;
But keep what goes on here between us.
We wouldn’t want it on TV.
You know that Clinton had his Monica
Whose dress he stained with his veronica.
I’m not that kind of man; not crude.
I’d have you do it kneeling nude.
I know you work for Telemundo
And I could grant you interviews
(Though off the record) you could use
About some bigwigs you could wound. So,
If you will act as my mouthpiece,
You’re first for every press release.”

A TEACHER'S OPINION

Are ghetto kids such blind fool losers
They’d rather smoke a little weed
Or hang around with OG boozers
Than get their studies up to speed?
Or ipod bobbing to a rapper
While sitting in a PE crapper
And dream about most anyplace
Than tackling the paper chase?
God knows I don’t have any answers;
But something says they’d bust a gut
If amerikkka hadn’t cut
(Or wanted to) them out like cancers.
If out and free of that cesspool,
Then maybe they’d get straight with school.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

A TEACHER'S LAMENT

If courts can hold a parent liable
For helping sons and daughters drink,
Then shouldn’t it be justifiable
That they’re obliged to help them think?
To be in school and not be truant;
That when they come to school they’re fluent
With what it takes to hit the books
And not give teachers dirty looks
When she or he gives an assignment
That takes some effort, trouble, time
Without them thinking it’s a crime
That keeps them homebound in confinement.
But maybe that’s the trouble : home.
They’re victims of Stockholm Syndrome.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

CLARENCE THOMAS UPHOLDS A DEATH PENALTY CONVICTION

“I say with certainty the Founders
Believed in an almighty God
Who wreaked His punishment on bounders
In ways that kept His people awed.
Therefore, I claim the Constitution
Demands for crimes a retribution
Commensurate with what you did.
And ,so, I will not now forbid
Your being torn apart by horses
For shouting ‘ Bush would not attack
If his twin girls were in Iraq.’
The Constitution says brute force is
Not to be used if it’s too weird;
But I asked God who said I’m cleared.”

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

CHARTER SCHOOLS

Do charter schools have any answers
To raising students lowly scores?
Or do they kowtow to financers
Of education’s civil wars?
There’s ample proof there is no charter
Has ever made a student smarter.
So why should L.A.’s Board of Ed.
Think they’ll increase the score’s point spread?
So if this seems a little iffy,
Remember that a public school
Is subject to the golden rule
Which states quite plainly: in a jiffy
If test scores are left in a ditch
The charters gone but it’s left rich.

VOTERS EXCITED

Voters Excited Over ’08 Campaign; Tired of It, Too
( NYT 07/09/07 )

With previews of next year’s election
So prodigal in every state,
The voters think it’s their selection
Will chiefly choose the candidate.
The cost, of course, will be horrendous
As strangers try now to best friend us.
It’s money though that pays the bills
And outmaneuvers our freewills.
A candidate might say “God willing;”
But even God can’t pay the fee
For prime time on network TV.
No, candidates who get top billing
Are bankrolled by the superrich
And we play catcher to their pitch.

Monday, July 9, 2007

WHY RELIGION ?

A blogger friend asked why religion
Was featured in my many posts.
I said I thought it but a smidgen.
But on consideration, roasts
Of God, the Holy Spirit, Jesus
Have figured in my exegesis
Of how we first must demonize
Whomever we would brutalize.
And, factually, Christian theology
Has always proved a seconal
In concert now with pro football
Before we practice our proctology
By dulling us with gravitas
Before the world pays through the ass.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

INANITIES IN PUBLIC LIFE- LINDA CHAVEZ

Before Ms. Chao was nominated,
George Bush’s premiere nominee
Was Linda Chavez, vaccinated
Against all things that seemed PC-
Especially exaggerations
About what might end deprivations,
Like raising the minimum wage
From what it was in the Bronze Age.
She argued that employers suffer;
And workers, too, from losing jobs
To foreigners who live on cobs.
So Linda like a Bush flick fluffer,
Would surely have kept labor hard
By driving wages Myanmared.

Friday, July 6, 2007

INANITIES IN PUBLIC LIFE- ELAINE CHAO

Elaine repealed the regulations
That were designed so labor law
Could be enforced, like arbitrations
That stuck in her employer’s craw.
She argued that the cause of workers
Was showing bosses they weren’t shirkers-
Would work two hundred hours a week,
Not stopping once to take a leak;
Would show employers their communion
By offering to work for less
When companies were under stress;
Would certainly reject a union;
Be satisfied, in early graves,
They were productive as wage slaves.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

INANITIES IN PUBLIC LIFE-THE KANSAS BOARD OF EDUCATION

The Kansas Board of Education
Has argued the descent of man
Is totally in violation
Of God Almighty’s master plan.
So they’ve abolished teaching science
Whenever it displays defiance
Of what the Bible says is true.
So gravity was made taboo.
For otherwise there’s no Ascension
Of Virgin Mary and her Son;
And then they’re stuck where they’ve begun-
On earth and dead in this dimension.
And no one wants to come to terms
With opening that can of worms.

Monday, July 2, 2007

INANITIES IN PUBLIC LIFE -DAVID HOROWITZ

I vilify to call to order
Inanity in public life;
But if my verses prove a mortar
That, detonating, add to strife,
Then I admit I would strike terror
In all promoting public error
By firing off my ridicule
To help the world be rid a fool-
Like Bush and Rove, Rumsfeld and Cheney,
Or Condi Rice, or Tom DeLay,
Ann Coulter, Yoo, the CIA,
Or any of the miscellany
The Bush administration shits,
Especially David Horowitz.

For Horowitz was once left radical,
Or so he claimed in ’69,
But then transformed himself fanatical
Conservative whose bottom line
Is charging radical professors
With using classroom tongue depressors
To gag their students not PC,
Preventing them from their degree.
As well, his views on Reconstruction-
That former slaves were hypocrites
Denying slavery’s benefits-
Should serve us to make this deduction:
The Academic Bill of Rights
Is what it claims, for whom it fights.

RELIGION IN THE PUBLIC SQUARE

For Christian preachers who are plotting
Religion in the public square,
Perhaps you ought to go glob-trotting
And see Iran and its nightmare-
Enforcing on a single nation
The status of one congregation;
Who think there’s nothing left to teach
Except for what their mullahs preach;
Who send out goon squads as marauders
Investigating all parked cars
To see who’s leading seminars
On J.K.Rowling’s Harry Potters
Then, after beating them for fraud,
They’re strung up in the name of god.

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