Wednesday, February 28, 2007



"I swear to God and Holy Trinity
I won't have SEX with any guy
But will in fact keep my VIRGINITY
Untill I'm married. Hope to die.
But if it happens that I'm lacking
The self-control to keep from macking
And lost in LUST I take a chance
By pulling off my underpants,
I'll never let IT come between us,
Near my virginity's mystique;
I'll rather turn the other cheek.
So IT will never pass my Venus;
And I won't have to recommit
Because I take IT where I shit."

Tuesday, February 27, 2007


"Ms. Coulter, you have stated clearly
If we approve you for the bench,
You'll deal with deviants severly
And cleanse our country of their stench.
Could you give us some small example
On whom you think the law might trample
So that our country might recess
The liberals and their excess?"
"Surely, Senator. We're commanded
And authorized by any means
To pull out from thr closet, queens;
And once exposed, their privates branded,
Parading them to take the cure
In public by divestiture...


"I'd also hip who are oblivious
To what the media does to kids
Because it's owned by foul lascivious
JEWS, baby-sacrificing YIDS;
Who've substituted their own shedding
Of baby's blood by gang blood-letting,
By teaching how one kills and maims
By simply playing Xbox games.
Then, waiting for a drive-by shooting
In which an infant child is shot,
Their ambulance is on the spot
And whisks it fast away, imputing-
After they drink the baby dry-
It's death to gangsters getting high...


"I'd argue that our God has chosen
As His own people only WHITE
As He once chose the lederhosen
In Germany to fight His fights.
Not only blacks and browns but Asians
(No matter how good at equations)
From slant-eyed CHINKS to NIPS and SLOPES
They all are gangster selling dopes.
They have a social insecurity
Which is the color of their skin,
For not-white's how GOD colored sin.
Therefore, by guarding racial purity,
It guarantees with GOD WHITES talk
While OTHERS go to Hell's perp walk...


"I would approve of race profiling
As it is practiced by police.
For just as God knows sinners' styling
So officers who'd keep the peace
And only have a New York minute
To think if deadly force will win it
And shoot a black man in the back,
Just so they're certain he was black,
Can't be charged with lacking discretion:
For even if he's just a child,
It's certain that he's growing wild;
And that he would do some transgression.
It's better then quick on the draw
Than too late to lay down the law...


"And then, of course, there's WHITES' frustrations
When nonwhites are preferred for jobs;
Especially blacks with amputations
That's left them limbless thingamabobs;
Combine this with some as retarded
And who in wheelchairs are safeuarded;
Are deaf; have had a heart bypass,
And needs someone to wipe her ass.
So long as they're in a minority,
When added to a name like Schwartz,
Not hiring them makes WHITES bad sports.
So ruled the Supreme Court majority.
Though THANK GOD for their little push
That gave us President George Bush."

( to be continued)


When W saw wetlands shrinking,
He sent down to the EPA
To ask if it was good for drinking.
They said "It's not." He said "OK,
Then drain them off; give them to drillers
For, after all, they are the pillars
Of our Republican campaign;
And any who would dare complain,
Let them endure a REIGN OF TERRORS;
And when they've all been tracted and racked-
Under our new PATRIOT ACT-
We'll claim they had raghead forbearers
Who would pollute our sacred soil
Which our God gave to STANDARD OIL."

Saturday, February 24, 2007


When W goes on vactions
And leaves the White House for THE RANCH,
He leaves behind commiserations
Stating the Executive Branch
Is very sorry it's December
Or any month that ends in -ember,
Or -ary,May, June, or July,
October, April, March when nigh.
This only leaves the month of August
To carry on the work of state;
But even then THE RANCH's gate
Is locked for George is on a grog bust;
( Or else just mentally inane ),
So missed Katrina's hurricane.

Friday, February 23, 2007


"That last charge is a real knee-slapper,"
Said Cheney representing Bush.
"You think we'd send someone to cap her
By giving her a little push
Out of a window for citations
That we had planned assassinations
In countries who have been our friends
In stopping terrorism's trends?"
The Senator from West Virginia,
Intelligence Committee Chair,
Said "Dick, we know you wouldn't dare.
You shouldn't think we're tryin' ta skin ya.
We , too , would like this cup to pass.."
As Dick said "Stick it up your ass."


"Environmental rules are galling,"
So said a corporate CEO.
By keeping cases on court dockets
Are stealing from us like pickpockets
Because we make a little hole
To dig some of Wyoming's coal.
And as for water tables shrinking,
That last charge really takes the prize.
With global warming on the rise,
We're drowning in it, almost sinking.
Why, Senator, I dock my yacht
In Vegas at the Camelot."


Wheh W was still quite little
His mother took him on her knee
And fiddled with his tiny piddle;
But what old Barb could not foresee
Was that her conduct was condusive
To raising one twice as abusive
In his attempt to slip the noose
When he and mom played MOTHER GOOSE.
Who doesn't know that this perversion
Leads to a triumph of the will
In one who's made to fit the bill?
Though lesser now than Hitler's version,
He'll close the gap by slow degrees
By killing us in twos and threes.


"Although Sudan remains a sponsor
Of terrorism," says Ms. Rice;
And though the genocide there haunts her,
She says that "It's not in the dice
To hold their government accountable
Because the odds are insurmountable;
And even if we were to act
Who wants a barren wasteless tract
Of desert land? Where's the attraction?
Okay, they're killing moms and kids;
But foreign policy forbids
A military counteraction;
And even if some kids are flayed
This helps their lampshade export trade."


It's now the deadly "penetrator"
That's killing troopers in Iraq,
But isn't this just poppycock?
Who sent them to this horrid locus?
Twas W with hocus-pocus
Of weapons that will mass destruct.
Turns out he's right. We'll all be FUCKED.
These bombs are just a complication
Of letting slip the dinosaur,
Who finds IT'S only affirmation,
After IT bites George on the ass,
By swallowing us all en masse.


It's " Hillary" not Hillary Clinton,
Now that she's on the campaign trail.
What's in a name? Just try and mint one
That doesn't make you sound retail.
There's Cher's, of course, and Brad's and Gracie's;
And , musically, there's surely Basie's;
But all of these and more made names
After accomplishing their aims.
But fixing one by prearrangement-
Proclaiming you're already great-
Is tempting FORTUNE with your fate.
Why even Eisenhower's change meant,
When folks proclaimed their "I LIKE IKE,"
He'd "won" a war against the Reich.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007


When W's administration
Gave 2.3 mil for research
To see if praying's calculation
Would help the laws of NATURE lurch
Into a cloud of glorious wonder
Where God Almighty'd knuckle under
And tinker with the status quo
Which He'd built up some time ago,
He pissed God off. " My intervention
Came only once. I sent My Son
To answer mankind's 911,
You idiot. Now pay attention:
Who would blaspheme, pray Me ad hoc,
I'll send to Hell or your Iraq."