Wednesday, November 30, 2011

LONG LIVE THE OCCUPATION

1
I went down to the Occupation
To take my fair share of abuse
And help us out from our prostration
To politicians and their ruse
Of better living through our voting.
(And all the while, of course, they’re gloating.
They know our votes are now worth less
But sometimes help, relieving stress.)
I took their clubs, endured their beating;
But slowly they forced our retreat
But mostly cause we had to eat.
One thing’s for certain: no more pleading.
And when at night I hit the sack
I know that soon we will be back!
2
If this seems like a contradiction,
Believe me when I say it’s true.
You might give way to interdiction
When leadership’s been knocked askew;
But slowly we will reassemble
And thinking how to make them tremble,
We’ll finally beat back their deceit,
The stock and trade that is Wall Street.
The point is we set people thinking
On how America is run,
And forced the Street to 911.
So fewer now will be lipsyncing
What Wall Street’s pols say. We’re content:
We are the 99%.





EVEN 1% OF THE 99

I don’t know why I get depressive
When listening to the GOP.
Is it because they are oppressive?
Would see me under lock and key?
The Democrats, too, have Obama
Who’s really helped them shape our trauma.
So what am I supposed to do?
Just sit at home while feeling blue?
What happened to the Occupation?
Where is the 99%?
Too busy scrounging to pay rent
To stand up to our degradation?
If 1% of 99
Would stand, they’d stop at our frown line.

Monday, November 28, 2011

CHRISTIAN RELIGION AT THE BALLOT BOX

When voting in a Christian nation,
The Holy Bible is our guide;
Because it was God’s declaration
That celebrated genocide:
So killing natives and black slavery
Were never forms of Christian knavery;
That foreign lands and cussed gays
Must suffer us till end of days.
It gave men rights to women’s stoning
If whorish women had a yen
To “do it” with a man or men,
The price for their illicit boning.
As Christian voters under God,
Our prospects need the Bible’s nod.

Friday, November 25, 2011

IDIOT AMERICA 1

Here dinosaurs are wearing saddles
Because the Bible tells us so;
And women are a man’s first chattels;
Blacks still should suffer from Jim Crow.
When these “deductions” from the Bible,
Writ when we humans were still tribal,
Are still believed by people here
It shows their minds have stripped a gear.
And, too, because the politicians,
In their relentless search for votes,
Will pander to what floats their boats.
In fact, encourage dispositions
Where cranks are puffed with self-esteem
And imbeciles are now mainstream.

PASSOVER

“I do not have the slightest feeling,”
Said Randall Terry*, “for men who,
Instead of practicing their healing,
Kill babes.  Operation Rescue
Demands an end to this atrocity.
We do not kill with animosity
But do it with profoundest love
Commanded by our God above.”
When this was brought to God’s attention,
He asked when He’d made manifest
That Randall Terry was so blessed
“That he can make known My intention?
I’ve killed some babies in My time.
Who claims Passover was a crime?”

* Randall Terry founded the “pro-life” organization Operation Rescue.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

MODERN POETRY

I woke up with an armadillo
Was snoring soundly in my bed;
Then I recalled, beneath my pillow,
My .45 and shot it dead.
This roused the peasants in the village
Where I’d been helping with their tillage.
They, seizing me, brought me to court
And asked me just what kind of sport
Would do a thing like that. I answered
And what would you do if you knew?
They scratched their heads. They had no clue.
I said because their heads were cancered,
They thought that words should make some sense.
Now go set up the circus tents.

HEAVEN OR HELL? (FOR ANNMARIE)

I want to take a trip to Heaven
But only in my mind to see
If Heaven's better than the 7-
Eleven or filed with ennui.
And then I’d visit with the devil
To see if Hell is on the level:
Will I be punished for the sin
Of giving all the boys my yin?
I closed my eyes and concentrated
And tried to see what my mind showed
But saw a number, my zip code.
I saw its meaning as it faded:
It meant that Heaven’s Hell’s on earth
So go and get your money’s worth.

A BRIEF BIOGRAPHY OF A PORN STAR

I used to be a girl, immodest
In everything I said and did;
And thought that I was just the hottest.
I know now it was just my id
That made me think that I was cuter
Could get away with acting lewder
Than any girl. Showed camel toe
But really all it was for show.
But couldn’t change. As I got older
I thought I could put this to use
So did a film. It cooked my goose;
And I was hooked, played fast and loose.
And suddenly a star was born.
I make a fortune doing porn.

FOR TAMARA AT FAMILY FRIEND POEMS.COM

It’s funny how he makes me giggle
When I find that his finger’s in
To probe the spot that makes me wiggle
So that my pussy wants to sin.
I want his cock to take my pussy
Because he is a glamourpuss. He
Once asked could he fuck my ass.
I asked about the shit morass
That if he did he might encounter.
An enema was what he said
He’d used once on his sister’s spread. 
And thinking this, I saw him mount her
And pump away at her butt hole;  
And hoped they used the birth control.

MARGIN CALL

The Newt will give Social Security
To anyone who asks for it,
Providing they don’t lack the purity
Of sacrifice to take a hit.                          
So all your work is beneficial,
You still might end up sacrificial
Because free markets don’t protect
From bankers’ greed and its effect.
And savings always means the bankers
Whom we must give our money to
And hope deposits don’t skidoo.
For banks, like ships, will weigh their anchors
When payouts that they can’t afford
Will sink them if you get on-board.

Monday, November 21, 2011

PSYCHOTICS IN THE WHITE HOUSE

I never got enough affection
When I was just a little boy;
And had to make my own protection
The object of my pride and joy.
At school, when I got ganged or bullied
I saddled up, got wild and woolied;
And when those fuckers turned their backs
That’s when I gave them 40 whacks.
This may not seem to be essential
But shows I’ll never back away
Before I make offenders pay.
It comes with being presidential.
As you can see, from when a kid
I’ve always led off with my id.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

THE CHINESE PEACE PRIZE (FOR WAR AND HUMAN RIGHTS ABUSES)

The Chinese are self-advertisers,
And money men, so you’ll believe
Me when I say they’re subsidizers                      
Of anything that will deceive:
Like giving Russia’s Mr. Putin,
A far worse man than was Rasputin,
Their Peace Prize for pursuing war
Against the Chechens, gone hard-core;
And countless human rights abuses.
For what the Chinese want to do
In rendering their dream come true
Is show that torture has its uses;
And show the world it must succumb
To torture as a rule of thumb.

POEMS ARE MEANT TO “TAKE THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD OFF”

I try to write with vim and vigor
And say what’s really on my mind;
And do it with a kind of rigor
But bounded by how I’m confined:
By lines are measured out in syllables
That rhyme as well. They can be thrillables
As only rhyme and verse can do
While prose displays a dull IQ.
I wouldn’t have you think I’m snobby.
But poetry was meant for verse
Invented as it was to curse,
When Simmonides, Hammurabi
Of poets, first laid down the law
That poems work like a power saw.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

MEMO FROM WALL STREET

We must establish our position
On all of OWS
Because we need the ammunition
To stop these students’ full court press
Against the money that we’re making
Which they claim’s stealing, merely taking.
We wouldn’t want the GOP
To get so scared they cut us free.
Let’s claim that when they knock free markets
They’re killing off democracy
In favor of autocracy.
Then we’ll paint them with that black mark. It’s
Our inerrant ace in the hole
So we don’t have to show control.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

HEAVEN CAN WAIT

1
I met a girl, a glamourpuss,
Who questioned me on watching porn;
I said I had an omnibus
That we could watch from night to morn.
And so we settled in to watching
A crew of men who were debauching
A creature very like a sylph.
I said that I preferred a milf.
She said, “Then, sir, your wish is granted.”
And when I looked a woman who
Sat next to me in my church pew
Appeared before me. “I’m enchanted,”
She said. “Sent down by Jesus Rex
As my reward. So let’s have sex.”
2
I said, “My God. Sent down by Jesus!”
“Well . . . yes,” she said. “He won the war
In Heaven’s realm. And so, to please us,
He sent us down so we could score.”
“By watching porn?” I asked. “No, silly.
By learning how to guild a lily.
The porn I thought to watch with you
Will teach me what I need to do.”
“Who are you?”  “Call me Angelina.
The Testaments, both New and Old,
Divided all of Heaven’s fold
And turned the place to an arena.
The Father argued with the Son
That sex was wrong. But Jesus won.”
3
“So you’re an angel?” “Newly landed.
And Earth is such a lovely place . . .
I wouldn’t care if I were stranded.
Of course, I’m not.  In any case,
Can we engage in fornication?
I promise there’ll be no creation.”
“Why not?” I asked. “So you want kids?
I’m older than the pyramids;
And couldn’t stand to see them dying.”
“But what about our immortality?”
“When humans die, they’re really dead.
We traded sex to flee that dread.
Now please indulge my sexuality.”
So fucking till her time to go,
They dragged her screaming from death row.



Tuesday, November 15, 2011

ASTEROID 2005 YU55

When Earth had had its first encounter
With asteroid YU55,
It quickly took a body count. Her,
The Earth, had grown to be a hive.
It noticed, too, all man’s oppression
To fellow humans. Their aggression
Would soon destroy the planet Earth
And turn the bountiful to dearth.
Too late to make a course correction,
It thought about what it should do
To folks who didn’t have a clue.
Then thought it would make a connection.
“When I flyby again I’ll whack
Them good. Don’t worry. I’ll be back.”

GOD’S VIEW ON SANTORUM’S VIEWS ON SEX

When God heard candidate Santorum
Pronouncing what he thought of sex,
He gathered all the saints in forum
Who voted it to be Brand X.
One said his wife was so migraial,
It calmed her when they did it anal;
Another said that he was gay
And he, too, used that passageway;
Another said that masturbation
Was what she really liked to do.
God thought and said, “He has no clue.
That pleasure’s for ejaculation.
Why does he think I gave them holes?
To use with all their hearts and souls.”

GOD’S MESSIN’ WITH YA, HERM

Herm prayed to God said, My Lord, he
Was questioning if he should run?
And God, who was a little bored, He
Bethought Himself to have some fun.
“So Pizza Man beseeches favor
To be the GOP’s flag-waver.
They, all of them, are second-rate;
Not fit to guide a ship of state.”
But God said, “Yes. When you’re debating
The moderator will ask you
As president what would you do
If you caught your wife demonstrating
That marriage rights be had by gays.
And you will say, ‘I’d throw bouquets.’ ”

Friday, November 11, 2011

A SOLDIER’S DECLARATION OF WAR (FOR OCCUPY WALL STREET)

A soldier who was decorated
For killing of his country’s foes
Has ended being deprecated
For fighting back his country’s woes.
The shrinks told him he was a fighter
Who acted now as an outsider
By joining Occupy Wall Street
Which only argued for retreat.
The soldier said, “We were oppressors.
Those people didn’t do to me
What bankers did, the powers that be.
Wall Streeters are the real transgressors:
Because I couldn’t pay their loan,
They stripped my family to the bone.”


THE PROUD LIBERAL *

Observe the liberal after voting,
Contentment beaming on his face.
It’s hard to say he isn’t gloating
His liberty is based on race?
Although they would deny the knavery,
Their fortunes were derived from slavery:
A country built on coloreds’ backs
Of both the natives and the blacks.
The natives were exterminated;
The blacks, of course, lived on as slaves
Who found their freedom in their graves.
The Libs must be congratulated:
They built a land where rich whites bud
When planted in their victims’ blood.

* Liberalism is the reigning political ideology in the US whether it is expressed by the Republican or Democratic parties.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

THE DEFINITION OF A LIBERAL

A “liberal” is one wants justice
For anyone is white and male;
And who demands, if others cussed us,
It is the last breath they inhale;
A white man who upholds black slavery;
And hangs the poor for their depravery;
Who thinks a woman is a bitch
Is meant to scratch his every itch;
Who has no feeling for the “other”
In places white men don’t control
Because the “other” has no soul;
Who rails and fights against Big Brother
Unless, of course, Big Brother’s white
And helps promote the “others” plight.

EDUCATION’S CATCH-22

The teacher was so busy testing
She’d very little time to teach;
And so was charged when manifesting
Her indignation with a screech.
Before the Board of Education
She let loose with her indignation
And claimed with testing paramount
She couldn’t teach the kids to count,
Do reading, writing, history, science.
Just what was she supposed to do
When taking tests was all they knew?
The Board of Ed said noncompliance
With policies that they desired
Left them no choice. The teacher’s fired.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Michele Bachmann Would Add . . . To Mount Rushmore?

Mt. Rushmore needs another model:
The face of Jesus on the Mount
While preaching to us at full throttle
About our mounting body count.
He’d say to us, “Your Christian nation
Has fallen into degradation
Participating in the wars
That your Almighty God abhors.
You would be better represented
By Satan for the Indians killed;
Or slaves and workers you've  treadmilled.
All these and more should be lamented.
A Christian nation helps the poor.
Ms. Bachmann you’re a certain boor.”

A STATEMENT BY ANONYMOUS ABOUT HERMAN CAIN

When Herm and I went out together
I asked his help to get me hired.
He took his hand and touched my nether
And said I’d get what I desired,
If I unzipped and sucked his penis
Then stuck it up my open Venus.
Well I was shocked and looked at Herm
And said you mean that little worm?
He shouted all you little bitches
Want something from me but won’t give
Enough to live and to let live.
And I replied with all your riches
There must be someway that you could
Be doctored so you could raise wood.

JUDGMENT DAY

I try to write with authenticity
About the world in which I live;
But cannot help my eccentricity
Of writing my rhymes with a shiv.
I’d slit the throats of politicians,
And preachers with their expositions
Of what it’s like to live in hell
Without a clue that’s where we dwell.
If rhyming verse proves insufficient
Especially in satire’s form
Then we will have to take by storm
These clods who mostly prove deficient;
Or else they’re lying. Come what may
We’ll slit their throats on Judgment Day.

Monday, November 7, 2011

ALIENS ON EARTH

The White House said on our home planet
No ET’s have as yet been found.
I beg to differ. If you’ll scan it
You’ll find that they’re preparing ground:
They’re organized. They're hale and hearty,
And call themselves the Grand Old Party.
They’d do away with all controls
Like dirtying our water holes;
And work promoting air pollution
And all the things that humans share,
While denigrating good health care.
The Democrats have no solution
Because they’re equally ET’s
Who, like The GOP, spread sleaze.

Friday, November 4, 2011

PROPOSAL FOR TEACHING SEX EDUCATION

In US schools, sex education
Should only be taught by the pros;
So I suggest those whose vocation
Is making porno videos.
Especially the female actors
Who can discuss familiar factors
Like how a girl slacks her crevasse
So she can take it up the ass.    
The age of virtual reality
Demands no less for kids watch porn
In which the male with his longhorn
Could easily cause some fatality.
Then all of those who pass the test
Appear in movies as a guest.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

BLESS ME, FATHER, FOR I HAVE SINNED

The men behind the war on women
Are Catholic bishops.  That’s not news.
The Bible says it was Eve’s sinnin’
That brought this on: no right to choose.
Of course it’s not a sin suffusing
Their priestly semen when it’s oozing
Into the holes of little kids
For all know priests have outlaw ids.
But when they argue that abortion
Is sinning, what of their pastimes?
They’ll rank in Hell the worst of crimes.
Abortion though gives them a chance
Of dodging victims in knee pants.

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