Saturday, June 27, 2009


When Karl Marx looked down from heaven
At crisis in the world below,
He thought he might provide a leaven
So sat to think of some bon mot.
But as he watched the world’s devotion
To capital, ocean to ocean,
He wondered at the workers’ fear
About the day when they’d premiere.
His MANIFESTO had attested
That they were capital’s boot hill,
A destiny they could fulfill,
If only they’d done as suggested:
With “Workers of the world, unite,”
He didn’t add “…but be polite.”

Thursday, June 25, 2009


“If, gentlemen, you’ll please consider
That what I’m holding in my clutch
Might not seem like a heavy hitter,
You would be wrong by oh so much.
For herein lies a thing obscene. He
Awaits your hest, a mighty genie
Who, when the stopper’s put aside,
Will grant three wishes.” Edified,
The men began their cutthroat bidding
Until the winner, with a smile,
Went bowing down the clapping aisle.
What happened after manumitting
The jinn would cast your peace of mind
Into the dark to be confined.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


I’ll never be an “influential”
Say… like the ones who blog HuffPost.
Though what I write is consequential,
The liberals won’t let me roast
The likes of President Obama
Who subtly replies, “Yo mama”
To questions would embarrass him
And fixing if he’ll sink or swim.
For instance, I’ve called him on torture
And HuffPost censors out my blog
So hindering the “dialogue”
Their editors might think a scorcher,
As Bush and Cheney used to do.
As Caesar said, “Brutus, et tu?”

Friday, June 19, 2009


Who claims Obama is a liar
When everything he said’s so bland
He wouldn’t need an alibier
To lead him through the no-man’s-land
That haunts so many politicians
When they campaign for their ambitions-
In his case as a man of peace?
He no doubt meant catch and release.
He said that his administration
Would never live to be maligned
By lobbyists who countersigned
His bills signed into legislation.
Yet lobbyists and carnivores
Still stalk the White House corridors.

Thursday, June 18, 2009


1. “I’ll tell you anything,” she pleaded,
2. As she lay gasping on the floor.
3. It’s then I knew I had succeeded.
4. She couldn’t take it anymore.
5. I heard it in her voice. I let it
6. Wash over me and do me credit.
7. I run a torture team boutique
8. Where I’ve perfected my technique.
9. So what they changed administrations?
10. Obama, Bush. They’re all the same.
11. The difference is the party’s name.
12. So they avoid the defamations,
13. No president will give a damn.
14. Ya gotta love 'em… Uncle Sam.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


I used to think that rabble-rousing,
As Jefferson once said, was good;
But now I’m old and feel like drowsing.
I’ve done as much as any could.
So sit here like a fuddy-duddy
At home in this my tiny study
And hope that I won’t be eschewed
Because I’ve lost my aptitude
For making trouble, disinterring-
And making such an awful fuss
That I had always thought a plus-
The wickedness life was conferring
On everybody else you see
To find at last it’s only me.

Monday, June 15, 2009


Let me propose my own solution
To torture by the CIA
Will clearly lead to diminution
Of actions people think outré.
Don’t question them. That’s what they’re dreading.
Instead grant them instant beheading,
Dispatching them to virgins that
Will get them laid in nothing flat.
In this way we avoid brutality
And useless information got
Applying pokers are red hot.
They’ll welcome us with cordiality.
And’s more humane than suffering welts
By whipping them with garter belts.

Friday, June 12, 2009


Who says that human understanding
Was ever big in our U.S.?
From when the Pilgrims made their landing,
What’s really triumphed is b.s.
The slaughter of the native nations,
The slaves that once lived worse than Haitians,
And others in our history
Who have been treated as debris
Have suffered for their elocution
Especially those on the left
Who argued capital was theft
Have always suffered persecution.
But liberals would minimize
These troubles to “free enterprise.”


For liberals the trauma’s over
For now another Man from Hope
Will roll them over in the clover
(Then sucker them with rope-a-dope).
They live in worlds where oratoricals
Are mixed up as my metaphoricals-
They want to have a decent world
Where only our flag is unfurled.
And so we get their sermonizing
As brought to you by HuffPost blogs
Or any of their analogs.
And I’ll admit it’s tranquilizing.
But liberals are decent sorts
Not rebels on their tennis courts.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


I want in on this health care racket.
I’ll call myself AMERICARE.
We’ll be America’s lifejacket
And I’ll become a billionaire.
But first I’ll have to hire a lobby
That would confuse a Hammurabi
On who should pay and who should not
Till everybody pays. So what?
A business can’t be altruistic.
Go out and ask the AMA
If doctors make sick people pay.
Of course. You think they’re communistic?
If you can’t pay, there’s waiting lists
For business knows no altruists.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


I think the banks need more stress testing
So that we’ll know they’re five-by-five.
We wouldn’t want them out molesting
Homeowners whom they’d skin alive.
For stress can make the banks psychotics
Or, at the very least, neurotics
For all know bankers’ egos trip
With claims that they have lost their grip.
They need someone they can rely on
Who won’t allege they’re racketeers
Who’ve made their money and careers
By charging interest they get high on
So when they visit Harvard Yard
They’re welcomed with an honor guard.


“They say a thousand words a picture.
But who knows what they’re really worth?
The Dems will not allow the stricture
Of President Obama. What on earth
Can be the meaning of deterring
Our showing off? Who claims we’re erring
By torturing our enemies?
Aren’t they watched over by M.D.’s
To guarantee they’ll live to tell us
What they were planning to do next?
OK, perhaps we over flexed
Our muscle, getting overzealous.
Why not release them; show the world
What happens when our flag’s unfurled?”

Monday, June 8, 2009


“I’m worried that our Constitution
Does not contain a clause that says
That justices can’t be Confucian
Or else descendants of Cortez.
And that it seems to be conducive
Of everything that is delusive.
Take, for example, civil rights
For blacks and gays but not white knights;
That courts can rule Creation Science
Cannot be taught in public schools.
These justices are all damn fools.
So I propose a new alliance
Of all who think “In God We Trust”
Be raised the standard for the just.”

Friday, June 5, 2009


When President Obama’s talking
About his giving banks relief-
And this is just a Christmas stocking-
I’m overwhelmed with disbelief.
When I have made an interest payment,
I can’t afford my children’s raiment-
So they’re in school in tattered clothes
And wearing shoes that show their toes.
And, too, my house could use new plumbing.
My job was transferred round the globe.
I’ve lost it all. But I'm not Job.
So, when you hear “fe fi fo fuming,”
You’ll know it’s me and millions more
Not Santa striking down their door.

Thursday, June 4, 2009


The military once concluded
(This happened after Vietnam)
That they were terribly diluted
Without the help of Adam Baum.
He never got enough of killing
Providing only God was willing
And now Dick Cheney needed him
To tear Iraqis limb from limb.
As often happens, limitations
Like leaving anyone alive,
He packed a punch none could survive,
Led Cheney, who loved imitations,
To limit him in what he did
So Adam wouldn’t flip his lid.
When Cheney called him with instructions,
He told him that Saddam was mad
And asked him if he’d wreak destruction’s
Death and massacre in Baghdad;
But that he shouldn’t raise the devil
But, short of that, twas free to revel;
Then Cheney sent him off to play
But Adam turned up DOA.
Now Cheney in sackcloth and ashes
Despaired as Job’s friends did of Job
Until an interstellar probe
Descended giving him hot flashes
Provided by a cattle prod
And warned him not to play at god.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


Of course, I speak with cynicism,
When politics is being discussed.
I’d almost say antagonism
Whenever hearing “public trust”-
A phrase that’s right up there in ranking
With “Jesus” and “investment banking”
Though Jesus had a falling out
With bankers whom he put to rout.
Why can’t our president, Obama,
Attend, like Jesus, to the banks
And run them off, the greedy swanks?
He’d certainly provoke some drama.
But presidents must come to terms
With banks…they finance second terms.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


I think your message of deep-sixing
Abortion doctors truly bad.
It sets you up as intermixing
A God of love who’s raving mad.
When moral law can trump the civil,
Then all we’ll get is so much drivel.
You’ll never settle whose franchise
A life belongs to in demise?
Imagining you know God’s willing
To bless a bullet in the head
Confirms he sanctions your bloodshed.
But when did God need help with killing?
You’d take His place and be supreme
Invoking God while you blaspheme?

Monday, June 1, 2009


“I do not have the slightest feeling,”
Said Randal Terry, “for men who
Instead of practicing their healing
Kill babes. Operation Rescue
Demands an end to this atrocity.
We do not kill with animosity
But do it with profoundest love
Commanded by our God above.”
When this was brought to God’s attention,
He asked when He’d made manifest
That Randal Terry was so blessed
“That he can make known My intention?
I’ve killed some babies in My time.
Who claims Passover was a crime?”