THE SOLUTION TO THE TORTURE PROBLEM

Let me propose my own solution
To torture by the CIA
Will clearly lead to diminution
Of actions people think outré.
Don’t question them. That’s what they’re dreading.
Instead grant them instant beheading,
Dispatching them to virgins that
Will get them laid in nothing flat.
In this way we avoid brutality
And useless information got
Applying pokers are red hot.
They’ll welcome us with cordiality.
And’s more humane than suffering welts
By whipping them with garter belts.