Wednesday, August 31, 2011

A NEW DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE


It was declared all men are equal,
A principle that’s been forgot.
Here, in amerikkka, its sequel
Is, most of us, were born to rot.
Not made this way by our Creator
But rather by the slaving trader
Who, shipping blacks across the sea,
Made men of high and low degree.
It’s time we stated independence
Declaring for another creed,
A better one not built on greed,
A lasting one for our descendants,
And one for which most people’d fight
Like Workers of the World, UNITE!
I’M KARL MARX AND I APPROVED THIS AD

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

PRESIDENT OBAMA SPEAKS FRANKLY TO THE VOTERS

 “Now that I’ve almost finished helping
The bankers I can turn to you
And put an end to all your yelping
About my helping just a few.
But, first of all, for all you moaners,
I have to satisfy my donors:
They give me millions; you give cents
And then you want your recompense!
You have one vote.  Vote for Obama!
Or else you’re stuck with neocons,
The way a whore is stuck with johns.
So, please, lay off the melodrama.
If you'll give me another shot,
I promise it will be for naught."
I’M BARACK OBAMA AND I APPROVED THIS AD

Monday, August 29, 2011

FOR GOD AND COUNTRY


We are a nation like no other
Because we fear the wrath of God;
And don’t have faith in one another
Because we know that man’s a clod.
So rather than get down and dirty
With those who test us being shirty
We lock them up in our minds’ caves
Till we can put them in their graves.
Now finally that time is coming
In this election or the next
Because God’s people get so vexed
At all the liberals nose-thumbing
At our beliefs.  We serve the Lord
Who’d have us brook no disaccord.
I’M NEWT GINGRICH AND I APPROVED THIS AD

DIVINE WARNINGS TO WASHINGTON FROM MICHELE BACHMANN


Ms. Bachmann tasked Homeland Security
That, like Boy Scouts, they be prepared
To guard our borders from impurity,
Before God leaves us running scared;
And plagues the land with desolation
Because we aren’t a Christian nation.
So HS should lock borders tight;
And we must vote for her, Ms. Right.
Earthquakes’ and hurricanes’ disasters
Are signs from God that we should shrink
The government to rinky-dink,
So states again become our pastors
And lead us to the Promised Land
So once again State’s Rights command.
I’M MICHELE BACHMANN AND I APPROVED THIS AD

Saturday, August 27, 2011

RICK PERRY’S POLICY ON TAXES AND CAPITAL PUNISHMENT

 “I am the Governor of Texas
And promise I will execute
A Injun, nigger, chink, or Mex.  Is
That clear?   You know they’re destitute
And so they suck up more in taxes;
And you all know how that impacts us.
So I say kill ’em soon’s we can;
Or turn them over to the Klan.
Now of the two the greater savings
Will come if we would privatize
These killings with a Klan franchise.
And then, you’ll see, their wicked cravings
Will die.  So, on a fiery cross,
We hang ’em high at no tax loss.”
I’M RICK PERRY AND I APPROVED THIS AD

Friday, August 26, 2011

PRISONERS INC.


We run a prisons corporation
The latest private enterprise
To offer men the consolation
Of useful work.  They make mud pies.
We offer them a chance at learning
In hopes it satisfies their yearning
For better lives that, filled with pride,
They’ll put to use when they’re outside.
Of course, we have some bellyachers
Who claim mud pies are useless for
A foot inside a bakery’s door.
Which may be true.  We’re moneymakers
And want our prisoners to return,
Since that’s the way we live and earn.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

THE MODERN POLITICIAN


BEHOLD!  The modern politicians,
Republicans or Democrats,
Who promises you free admissions
To watch them cut up bureaucrats.
But really s/he’s an opportunist
Who panders best to the jejunest:       
For bureaucrats help regulate
The running of the ship of state.
They’ll put them in a mausoleum
Which gladdens many corporate hearts
And would be business Bonapartes,         
Since no one’s there to oversee’em
As they ignore the lawful acts
Keep them from eating us as snacks.

PROSTITUTES AND CORPOATIONS AND EXPLOITATION


 What’s wrong, I ask, with prostitution
Except the fact that prostitutes
Will mostly suffer destitution
From selling their “forbidden fruits?”
With communes and socialization
They might escape their exploitation-
As first appropriators of
What’s offered for the price of “love.”
If women who’ve reached their majority
Decide to sell it a la carte
And not as in “till Death us part,”
What right have we to claim authority
To make sex workers legal blights
When corporate boards are parasites? *

* I do not mean to imply by my use of the word “When” in the last line that it would be ok to declare sex workers illegal after corporations were not exploitative.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

WHY NOT RUN IT OURSELVES?


Who says that President Obama
Or any politician can
Relieve our economic trauma?
Why all they’ll do is kick the can.
So why not try for revolution
As the appropriate solution
To help assuage our national stress?
It seems to me that nothing less
Will do.  Our economic masters,
They are the politicians too,
Will certainly make much ado
Of revolutions as disasters;
But then they have a lot to lose.
But so do we.  Our kids need shoes.

A TEACHER’S OPINION


Are ghetto kids such blind fool losers
They’d rather smoke a little weed
Or hang around with OG boozers
Than get their studies up to speed?
Or ipod bobbing to a rapper
While sitting in a PE crapper;
And dream about most anyplace
Than tackling the paper chase?
God knows I don’t have any answers;
But something says they’d bust a gut
If amerikkka hadn’t cut
(Or wanted to) them out like cancers.
If out and free of that cesspool,
Then maybe they’d get straight with school.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

IT’S WORSE THAN YOU THINK


Democracy Incorporated
Will lead to government control
From when a baby’s first gestated
Until s/he shuffles off her soul.
And all because the corporations
Are now in charge of what our nation’s
Hoi polloi think, act, and dream,
Their total lack of self-esteem.
They can’t be bothered with protesting
As we did in the 60’s when
We rampaged in the lion’s den.
Of course, you know I’m not suggesting
That we do what they did in Prague
But... What?  They're here!  They read my blog?

Sunday, August 21, 2011

SUBVERSION


Wherefore decry our mythic mother,
The one denominated Eve?                
She gave us reason, one another;        
And from her act of make believe,
She was responsible for science;
And justified our noncompliance
With what the faithful trust in myth
By making words as does a smith:    
Hard hammered on life’s anvil forging  
What’s hidden in the life of things;
And ridding us of earthly kings;
And, finally, our own disgorging
Of everything that keeps us awed,
Especially the Bible’s god.

THE ORDER OF THINGS (A PROPHECY)


Our Scripture is our Constitution;
But how do we know false from true?
The Court is but an institution
Interpreting the Word(s) for you.
The trouble with interpretations
Is that they lead to altercations
Where all of us think what we say
Is undisputed truth.  My “yea,”
Your “nay” are both rhetorical;
And yet they lead to bloody fights
With curses calling others blights,
Insisting ours is categorical.
If reason then can’t work it out,
With Scripture . . . beat him on the snout.  

Saturday, August 20, 2011

NO MAN’S LAND (FOR THE RULING CLASSES)


I write because I want a hearing,
And not because I think it’s art,
Against their lies and domineering,
In hopes you’ll have a change of heart.
You once believed, “Elect Obama
And he will solve our national trauma;
He’ll bring us jobs and stop their war(s);
Eliminate the carnivores
Who eat us at a business meeting.”
Alas, if this were only true.
But, All, it’s up to me and you.
So if you want to stop the bleeding,
You’ll send them off to no man’s land
Where we, their prisoners, command.

Friday, August 19, 2011

THE DIXIE COUNTY PRAYER


“Please help us, God, in Dixie County
And let your Ten Commandments stand -
To help remind us of your bounty -
No matter where it’s placed.  Command
Your angles led by Holy Jesus
To decimate those who displease us;
And we will give a rebel yell
When You have sent them off to Hell.
And let them take their Constitution
Along with them so they shall learn
(When it’s too late) what’s like to burn;
And keep us safe from prosecution.”
And God replied, “When I have done
Your bidding, don’t call 911.”

CORPORATION TO CORPORATION

One corporation called another
About the personage the Court
Had granted them.  It started, “Brother,
Does this mean when they charge a tort
We’re at the mercy of a juror
Who only wants to stir a furor;
And if found guilty then were sent
To jail?  Is that the consequent?
I ask because I’m disconcerted.
The good old days we used to be,
When we hurt people, . . . LLC;*
But now that we have been converted . . .”
The other, “Brother, calm your fears.
We’re tried by juries of our peers.”

* LLC stands for Limited Liability Company

LET THE SHOOTING BEGIN!


It has been said, “Attend your betters.
Do everything they tell you to.”              
And so we should.  We are their debtors.
So why not give them what is due
When they have looted all our savings
Because their greed can’t stop its cravings.
Let’s take it to the streets and fight
Until we force them to requite
The people for what they’ve been looting:
The services that help the poor;
The mortgages they won’t insure.
If this requires a little shooting,
Then they can call on 911.
What?  Closed?  Already half undone!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

BARACK AND MICHELE


One night when President Obama
Was in his quarters with Michele,   
He spoke with dread of all the drama
Of bidding this place fare-thee-well.
And she replied, “Barack, stop talking
I dreamed of this, you were knocking
Me up. Our bodies intertwined;
And of our melding to one mind.
And when Obama finished crying,
She said, “Dear one, we’ll carry on.
No one will even know you’re gone!”
Then, tenderly, they started eyeing     
Each other when she said, “Your black,
My white. . .  look splendid in the sack!”

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

UNCLE SAM


“I’ll tell you anything,” she pleaded,
As she spit up her blood and more.
And so I knew I had succeeded.
Another victory for the war.
I saw it in torn flesh and let it
Wash over me and do me credit.
I run a torture team boutique
Where I’ve perfected my technique.
So what they changed administrations?
Obama, Bush.  They’re all the same.
The difference is the party’s name.
So they avoid the defamations,
No president will give a damn.
Ya gotta love him… Uncle Sam.

Monday, August 15, 2011

WIGEONS (FOOLS) UNITED FOR THE GOP

Americans have made religion,
But only in its Christian form,
As every simpleminded widgeon,
The basis of all their reform:
Would send the US Constitution
Straight off to Hell for its pollution
Of all held dear by righteous whites
Who hate the colored Bill Of Rights;
Would hold elections for remandments
Of all the politicians who
Would now uphold ACLU
About removing God’s Commandments
From places like a courthouse lawn.
Too bad that Monty Python's gone.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

PROSTITUTES AND POLITICIANS (IN IMITATION OF MARTIAL)


A whore on whom you’d pay to piss
Would never think to sell a kiss.
In this way politicians fail
Since everything is up for sale.

RICK PERRY’S PRAYER


Of puddin’-heads we’ve modern versions
Who mostly serve the GOP
Who cry we undergo conversions
So we can hear Rick Perry’s plea:
“Help us, dear God, our Lord and Savior
Don’t punish us for misbehavior;
For what Your congregations do,
By killing off apostate Jew
And Muslim’s, meant to do your bidding:
Who don’t see Jesus as Your Son,
As Paul has said, must be undone;
And when we’re finished with their ridding
And all know that our God is Great,
We’ll reunite the church and state.”

Friday, August 12, 2011

Q AND A: MICHELE BACHMANN (FOR BILL MAHER)

Michele was asked, “Are you submissive
To Marcus, as a woman should?
She blew it off with this dismissive:
“The Bible here’s misunderstood.
It only means to do my duty
When what he asks for is my booty.
I can’t claim I’m not in the mood;
But must display solicitude.
I say to him, ‘Dear, if you’ll spark us
My body’s yours to do your will
As always.  On Capitol Hill
I often begged you’d take me, Marcus.
But you know, dear, there’s just no way
That I can please a man who’s gay.’”

Blog Archive