THEOCONS 1

The THEOCONS as politicians
Are nowadays quite resolute
When they're defending PROHIBITIONS
On eating the FORBIDDEN FRUIT
Of wanting EQUAL OPPORTUNITY
As members of a WORLD COMMUNITY
In which together ALL may rise
To have whatever they most prize.
But THEOCONIC CHRISTIANITY
Opposes this and in its place
Would gladly put the human race
In thrall to militant inanity
In which what leaves the world most stirred
Is opposition to the F WORD.

PARDON ME

He got the BUSH ADMINISTRATION,
Especially CHENEY, off the hook.
So who thinks LIBBY'S destination
Is jail, although he's proved a crook?
Will W grant him a pardon?
You bet your ass; or he'll need guardin'
Until his dying day draws near.
Unless they make him disappear
Because they think he might consider,
If he were left to rot in jail,
The driving of another nail
In CHENEY'S ass, an orn'ry critter
Who shot a friend in his patoot.
So, I think Libby's bound to SCOOT.

FOR ANN COULTER 2

And as for "...Edwards is a faggot;"
That is , of course , as it may be,
Though saying it should GAG A MAGGOT;
But COULTER has a malady
Impossible and uncontrollable
For which the woman's inconsolable-
The White House to the Democrats
Is driving her completely bats.
"Her comment," says her own clinician,
"Should be forgot lest one forgets
ANN COULTER SUFFERS FROM TOURETTES.
And so her speech lacks inhibition.
There is no cure, " her doctor owns,
"Except, perhaps by sticks and stones."

FOR ANN COULTER 1

Ann Coulter you're a right-wing GODDESS
Much hated by the liberal press.
You're not afraid to stomp a glottis
When some reporter doesn't BLESS
The likes of W and CHENEY
In books and books of miscellany
On how these substitute for GOD
By punishing what He's outlawed:
The lying, cheating, and complaining;
The putting in the helpful fix
That turned the Mississip to Styx;
And don't forget their entertaining
Of INFIDELS and ARAB REBS
In prisons like their ABU GHRAIBS.

FOR JACK HUBERMAN

Some evidence (?) has surfaced lately
That Jesus still lies in his tomb.
This hasn't hurt BELIEVERS greatly
Because, they claim, there is no room
For doubting he's of god's divinity,
A member of his holy trinity
So can't be dead, a daub of dust;
But's gone to heaven. Their disgust
With those who might be entertaining
A slightly different point of view
And want religion bid adieu,
Deserve, they say, a Christian braining;
But ATHEISTS just rise again
In living women, living men.

THE VAGINA DIALOGUES 3

Why all this arguement by PREACHERS
On keeping VIRGIN PUSSIES closed?
If some teenager wants to breech hers,
So long as breeching's self-imposed,
Then isn't it at her disposal
To do with on her own proposal
Without her causing some affront
By sticking something up her CUNT?
When preachers claim that sexuality
Is, outside marriage, loathed by GOD,
Then they should find LOT'S DAUGHTERS odd-
They did away with all normality
By fucking daddy till GOD BLESSED
These girls with children by INCEST.

THE VAGINA DIALOGUES 2

THE SECONDARY VIRGINITY PLEDGE

"What happens though if I can't save it?
Will I have fallen out of grace?"
The PREACHER said," By affidavit
If you will swear that your DISGRACE
Is locked up tight, a new virginity
Will fast be granted by the TRINITY-
For GOD can take away your stain
As you might clean a windowpane.
Think deeply, child, how you might help it
To keep you off the razor's edge
Before you take this HOLY PLEDGE."
"You mean," she asked," that if I scalp it
That I'll be gotten off the hook?
But check it out. I've done it. LOOK!"