BARACK AND MICHELE

One night when President Obama

Was in his quarters with Michele,   

He spoke with dread of all the drama

Of bidding this place fare-thee-well.

And she replied, “Barack, stop talking

I dreamed of this, you were knocking

Me up. Our bodies intertwined;

And of our melding to one mind.

And when Obama finished crying,

She said, “Dear one, we’ll carry on.

No one will even know you’re gone!”

Then, tenderly, they started eyeing     

Each other when she said, “Your black,

My white. . .  look splendid in the sack!”

UNCLE SAM

“I’ll tell you anything,” she pleaded,

As she spit up her blood and more.

And so I knew I had succeeded.

Another victory for the war.

I saw it in torn flesh and let it

Wash over me and do me credit.

I run a torture team boutique

Where I’ve perfected my technique.

So what they changed administrations?

Obama, Bush.  They’re all the same.

The difference is the party’s name.

So they avoid the defamations,

No president will give a damn.

Ya gotta love him… Uncle Sam.

WIGEONS (FOOLS) UNITED FOR THE GOP

Americans have made religion,

But only in its Christian form,

As every simpleminded widgeon,

The basis of all their reform:

Would send the US Constitution

Straight off to Hell for its pollution

Of all held dear by righteous whites

Who hate the colored Bill Of Rights;

Would hold elections for remandments

Of all the politicians who

Would now uphold ACLU

About removing God’s Commandments

From places like a courthouse lawn.

Too bad that Monty Python's gone.

PROSTITUTES AND POLITICIANS (IN IMITATION OF MARTIAL)

A whore on whom you’d pay to piss

Would never think to sell a kiss.

In this way politicians fail

Since everything is up for sale.

RICK PERRY’S PRAYER

Of puddin’-heads we’ve modern versions

Who mostly serve the GOP

Who cry we undergo conversions

So we can hear Rick Perry’s plea:

“Help us, dear God, our Lord and Savior

Don’t punish us for misbehavior;

For what Your congregations do,

By killing off apostate Jew

And Muslim’s, meant to do your bidding:

Who don’t see Jesus as Your Son,

As Paul has said, must be undone;

And when we’re finished with their ridding

And all know that our God is Great,

We’ll reunite the church and state.”

Q AND A: MICHELE BACHMANN (FOR BILL MAHER)

Michele was asked, “Are you submissive

To Marcus, as a woman should?

She blew it off with this dismissive:

“The Bible here’s misunderstood.

It only means to do my duty

When what he asks for is my booty.

I can’t claim I’m not in the mood;

But must display solicitude.

I say to him, ‘Dear, if you’ll spark us

My body’s yours to do your will

As always.  On Capitol Hill

I often begged you’d take me, Marcus.

But you know, dear, there’s just no way

That I can please a man who’s gay.’”

OFF WITH THE HEAD

Rebekah Brooks was collared on corruption,

Arrested by the coppers from the Yard;

And Rupert Murdock took this interruption

Of Fox News’ Evil Empire rather hard.

But why should anyone have been arrested?

(Especially by detectives who molested

The public’s trust when they received his bribe.

They’re doubtless guilty, too.) It doesn’t jibe

With what we know of emperors and power

Who, usually, reward their loyal friends…

Unless they haven’t tied up their loose ends.

In such a case, they’re sent off to The Tower

To meditate with oh such fearful dread

What happens if they offer up The Head.