A NEW DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE

It was declared all men are equal,

A principle that’s been forgot.

Here, in amerikkka, its sequel

Is, most of us, were born to rot.

Not made this way by our Creator

But rather by the slaving trader

Who, shipping blacks across the sea,

Made men of high and low degree.

It’s time we stated independence

Declaring for another creed,

A better one not built on greed,

A lasting one for our descendants,

And one for which most people’d fight

Like Workers of the World, UNITE!

I’M KARL MARX AND I APPROVED THIS AD

PRESIDENT OBAMA SPEAKS FRANKLY TO THE VOTERS

 “Now that I’ve almost finished helping

The bankers I can turn to you

And put an end to all your yelping

About my helping just a few.

But, first of all, for all you moaners,

I have to satisfy my donors:

They give me millions; you give cents

And then you want your recompense!

You have one vote.  Vote for Obama!

Or else you’re stuck with neocons,

The way a whore is stuck with johns.

So, please, lay off the melodrama.

If you'll give me another shot,
I promise it will be for naught."

I’M BARACK OBAMA AND I APPROVED THIS AD

FOR GOD AND COUNTRY

We are a nation like no other

Because we fear the wrath of God;

And don’t have faith in one another

Because we know that man’s a clod.

So rather than get down and dirty

With those who test us being shirty

We lock them up in our minds’ caves

Till we can put them in their graves.

Now finally that time is coming

In this election or the next

Because God’s people get so vexed

At all the liberals nose-thumbing

At our beliefs.  We serve the Lord

Who’d have us brook no disaccord.

I’M NEWT GINGRICH AND I APPROVED THIS AD

DIVINE WARNINGS TO WASHINGTON FROM MICHELE BACHMANN

Ms. Bachmann tasked Homeland Security

That, like Boy Scouts, they be prepared

To guard our borders from impurity,

Before God leaves us running scared;

And plagues the land with desolation

Because we aren’t a Christian nation.

So HS should lock borders tight;

And we must vote for her, Ms. Right.

Earthquakes’ and hurricanes’ disasters

Are signs from God that we should shrink

The government to rinky-dink,

So states again become our pastors

And lead us to the Promised Land

So once again State’s Rights command.

I’M MICHELE BACHMANN AND I APPROVED THIS AD

RICK PERRY’S POLICY ON TAXES AND CAPITAL PUNISHMENT

 “I am the Governor of Texas

And promise I will execute

A Injun, nigger, chink, or Mex.  Is

That clear?   You know they’re destitute

And so they suck up more in taxes;

And you all know how that impacts us.

So I say kill ’em soon’s we can;

Or turn them over to the Klan.

Now of the two the greater savings

Will come if we would privatize

These killings with a Klan franchise.

And then, you’ll see, their wicked cravings

Will die.  So, on a fiery cross,

We hang ’em high at no tax loss.”
I’M RICK PERRY AND I APPROVED THIS AD

PRISONERS INC.

We run a prisons corporation

The latest private enterprise

To offer men the consolation

Of useful work.  They make mud pies.

We offer them a chance at learning

In hopes it satisfies their yearning

For better lives that, filled with pride,

They’ll put to use when they’re outside.

Of course, we have some bellyachers

Who claim mud pies are useless for

A foot inside a bakery’s door.

Which may be true.  We’re moneymakers

And want our prisoners to return,

Since that’s the way we live and earn.

THE MODERN POLITICIAN

BEHOLD!  The modern politicians,

Republicans or Democrats,

Who promises you free admissions

To watch them cut up bureaucrats.

But really s/he’s an opportunist

Who panders best to the jejunest:       

For bureaucrats help regulate

The running of the ship of state.

They’ll put them in a mausoleum

Which gladdens many corporate hearts

And would be business Bonapartes,         

Since no one’s there to oversee’em

As they ignore the lawful acts

Keep them from eating us as snacks.

PROSTITUTES AND CORPOATIONS AND EXPLOITATION

 What’s wrong, I ask, with prostitution

Except the fact that prostitutes

Will mostly suffer destitution

From selling their “forbidden fruits?”

With communes and socialization

They might escape their exploitation-

As first appropriators of

What’s offered for the price of “love.”

If women who’ve reached their majority

Decide to sell it a la carte

And not as in “till Death us part,”

What right have we to claim authority

To make sex workers legal blights

When corporate boards are parasites? *

* I do not mean to imply by my use of the word “When” in the last line that it would be ok to declare sex workers illegal after corporations were not exploitative.

WHY NOT RUN IT OURSELVES?

Who says that President Obama

Or any politician can

Relieve our economic trauma?

Why all they’ll do is kick the can.

So why not try for revolution

As the appropriate solution

To help assuage our national stress?

It seems to me that nothing less

Will do.  Our economic masters,

They are the politicians too,

Will certainly make much ado

Of revolutions as disasters;

But then they have a lot to lose.

But so do we.  Our kids need shoes.

A TEACHER’S OPINION

Are ghetto kids such blind fool losers

They’d rather smoke a little weed

Or hang around with OG boozers

Than get their studies up to speed?

Or ipod bobbing to a rapper

While sitting in a PE crapper;

And dream about most anyplace

Than tackling the paper chase?

God knows I don’t have any answers;

But something says they’d bust a gut

If amerikkka hadn’t cut

(Or wanted to) them out like cancers.

If out and free of that cesspool,

Then maybe they’d get straight with school.

IT’S WORSE THAN YOU THINK

Democracy Incorporated

Will lead to government control

From when a baby’s first gestated

Until s/he shuffles off her soul.

And all because the corporations

Are now in charge of what our nation’s

Hoi polloi think, act, and dream,

Their total lack of self-esteem.

They can’t be bothered with protesting

As we did in the 60’s when

We rampaged in the lion’s den.

Of course, you know I’m not suggesting

That we do what they did in Prague

But... What?  They're here!  They read my blog?

SUBVERSION

Wherefore decry our mythic mother,

The one denominated Eve?                

She gave us reason, one another;        

And from her act of make believe,

She was responsible for science;

And justified our noncompliance

With what the faithful trust in myth

By making words as does a smith:    

Hard hammered on life’s anvil forging  

What’s hidden in the life of things;

And ridding us of earthly kings;

And, finally, our own disgorging

Of everything that keeps us awed,

Especially the Bible’s god.

THE ORDER OF THINGS (A PROPHECY)

Our Scripture is our Constitution;

But how do we know false from true?

The Court is but an institution

Interpreting the Word(s) for you.

The trouble with interpretations

Is that they lead to altercations

Where all of us think what we say

Is undisputed truth.  My “yea,”

Your “nay” are both rhetorical;

And yet they lead to bloody fights

With curses calling others blights,

Insisting ours is categorical.

If reason then can’t work it out,

With Scripture . . . beat him on the snout.  

NO MAN’S LAND (FOR THE RULING CLASSES)

I write because I want a hearing,

And not because I think it’s art,

Against their lies and domineering,

In hopes you’ll have a change of heart.

You once believed, “Elect Obama

And he will solve our national trauma;

He’ll bring us jobs and stop their war(s);

Eliminate the carnivores

Who eat us at a business meeting.”

Alas, if this were only true.

But, All, it’s up to me and you.

So if you want to stop the bleeding,

You’ll send them off to no man’s land

Where we, their prisoners, command.

THE DIXIE COUNTY PRAYER

“Please help us, God, in Dixie County

And let your Ten Commandments stand -

To help remind us of your bounty -

No matter where it’s placed.  Command

Your angles led by Holy Jesus

To decimate those who displease us;

And we will give a rebel yell

When You have sent them off to Hell.

And let them take their Constitution

Along with them so they shall learn

(When it’s too late) what’s like to burn;

And keep us safe from prosecution.”

And God replied, “When I have done

Your bidding, don’t call 911.”

CORPORATION TO CORPORATION

One corporation called another

About the personage the Court

Had granted them.  It started, “Brother,

Does this mean when they charge a tort

We’re at the mercy of a juror

Who only wants to stir a furor;

And if found guilty then were sent

To jail?  Is that the consequent?

I ask because I’m disconcerted.

The good old days we used to be,

When we hurt people, . . . LLC;*

But now that we have been converted . . .”

The other, “Brother, calm your fears.

We’re tried by juries of our peers.”

* LLC stands for Limited Liability Company

LET THE SHOOTING BEGIN!

It has been said, “Attend your betters.

Do everything they tell you to.”              

And so we should.  We are their debtors.

So why not give them what is due

When they have looted all our savings

Because their greed can’t stop its cravings.

Let’s take it to the streets and fight

Until we force them to requite

The people for what they’ve been looting:

The services that help the poor;

The mortgages they won’t insure.

If this requires a little shooting,

Then they can call on 911.

What?  Closed?  Already half undone!

BARACK AND MICHELE

One night when President Obama

Was in his quarters with Michele,   

He spoke with dread of all the drama

Of bidding this place fare-thee-well.

And she replied, “Barack, stop talking

I dreamed of this, you were knocking

Me up. Our bodies intertwined;

And of our melding to one mind.

And when Obama finished crying,

She said, “Dear one, we’ll carry on.

No one will even know you’re gone!”

Then, tenderly, they started eyeing     

Each other when she said, “Your black,

My white. . .  look splendid in the sack!”

UNCLE SAM

“I’ll tell you anything,” she pleaded,

As she spit up her blood and more.

And so I knew I had succeeded.

Another victory for the war.

I saw it in torn flesh and let it

Wash over me and do me credit.

I run a torture team boutique

Where I’ve perfected my technique.

So what they changed administrations?

Obama, Bush.  They’re all the same.

The difference is the party’s name.

So they avoid the defamations,

No president will give a damn.

Ya gotta love him… Uncle Sam.

WIGEONS (FOOLS) UNITED FOR THE GOP

Americans have made religion,

But only in its Christian form,

As every simpleminded widgeon,

The basis of all their reform:

Would send the US Constitution

Straight off to Hell for its pollution

Of all held dear by righteous whites

Who hate the colored Bill Of Rights;

Would hold elections for remandments

Of all the politicians who

Would now uphold ACLU

About removing God’s Commandments

From places like a courthouse lawn.

Too bad that Monty Python's gone.

PROSTITUTES AND POLITICIANS (IN IMITATION OF MARTIAL)

A whore on whom you’d pay to piss

Would never think to sell a kiss.

In this way politicians fail

Since everything is up for sale.

RICK PERRY’S PRAYER

Of puddin’-heads we’ve modern versions

Who mostly serve the GOP

Who cry we undergo conversions

So we can hear Rick Perry’s plea:

“Help us, dear God, our Lord and Savior

Don’t punish us for misbehavior;

For what Your congregations do,

By killing off apostate Jew

And Muslim’s, meant to do your bidding:

Who don’t see Jesus as Your Son,

As Paul has said, must be undone;

And when we’re finished with their ridding

And all know that our God is Great,

We’ll reunite the church and state.”

Q AND A: MICHELE BACHMANN (FOR BILL MAHER)

Michele was asked, “Are you submissive

To Marcus, as a woman should?

She blew it off with this dismissive:

“The Bible here’s misunderstood.

It only means to do my duty

When what he asks for is my booty.

I can’t claim I’m not in the mood;

But must display solicitude.

I say to him, ‘Dear, if you’ll spark us

My body’s yours to do your will

As always.  On Capitol Hill

I often begged you’d take me, Marcus.

But you know, dear, there’s just no way

That I can please a man who’s gay.’”