IF ONLY I COULD

If only I could hurl invective
As easily as Palin can.
She's certainly way more effective
Than any in the Ku Klux Klan.
Then I could make my commentaries
RSVPs to mortuaries
Where I could bury whom I want;
Upholding others I would vaunt.
If only I could paint a target
On whom advisors tell me to
As Sarah does on Black and Jew,
Then I’d have mastered all the argot
Tea Baggers use. Then help them mate
With others who are retardate.