REPUBLICAN CAMPAIGN STRATEGY

Republicans are set on winning
Elections any way they can;
And so they’ve set out disciplining
Their candidates. Thus no PAC-man
Must ever make a contribution
To those who favor evolution,
Or would preserve the Bill of Rights,
Or are pro-gay in their sound bites;
Or any not against abortions,
Or who’d promote our public schools
Where deficit reduction rules.
Why put themselves through these contortions?
I said it first. They want to win-
As they once did when banning gin.

ONE, TWO, MANY PARTIES

Political participation
Might best be served if politics
Would abdicate the allegation
The other side is “cunts” and “pricks.”
I do not mean uphold civility
Or denigrate infallibility-
For pols must play at Genghis Khan
While they’re confused if pro is con.
What’s awful is two pole positions-
Republicans and Democrats.
Why not beget some more begats
To represent the suppositions
Of voters all? Democratize
What Publicrats monopolize.

OPEN SEASON

Obama’s equal opportunity
Is letting Wall St. bankers bet
Our money with complete impunity
By giving them a safety net
To save their troubled corporations
(Which bundle checks of large donations)
Which he claims are too big to fail
So we must help them to prevail.
Thus liberals with this mendacity
Have sunk us deeper in their mire
Where one day we will open fire-
Be nemesis to their rapacity.
No wonder they shout their alarms
About us owning firearms.

BACK TAXES???

What better way to run for President
Than commentator on Fox News.
If Sarah Palin once was hesitant
Or stumbled with her “I accuse,”
She now will have the Fox News writers
To keep her focused. “Freedom fighters” –
From those who fly “DON'T TREAD ON ME"
To Baggers who would live tax-free-
Can rally now they have a leader
And one who doesn’t pay her tax
On structures out in wildwood tracts.
In other words, she’s a tax cheater
As are they all: REPUBLICRATS.
So Baggers get off your high-hats.

THIS JUST IN...

Republicans “think” that Obama,
According to THE DAILY KOS,
Has generated all their trauma-
That he’s a fake and double-cross.
They think his skin’s phantasmagoric,
For breakfast juice drinks hydrochloric;
And see themselves at Valley Forge
Awaiting their imperial George.
They’re certain that he stole election
And now want their states to secede
To reinstate the Christian creed
So they can wipe out the infection
Of godlessness and guarantee
Destruction of the DMV.

THE CONSCIENCE OF A LIBERAL(FOR PAUL KRUGMAN)

A conscience that is “uninhibited,”
Like Krugman’s when he makes a case
In economics, is prohibited
By thinking might cause loss of face.
He’ll rant and rave at how Obama
Is dealing with the national trauma
But never gives a thought to what
Might really land an uppercut
Square on the chins of his advisors:
Let all who work now take control
Of businesses. This leading role
Should be removed from maxi(mizer)s
Of profits. Let him criticize
Capitalist “free” enterprise.

TEA BAG NATION

“These pointy-headed politicians
Want us to vote for their reforms-
All part and parcel of ambitions
Against God-fearing peoples’ norms.
Their thinking has grown so distorted
It’s too bad that they weren’t aborted.
I know that is a mortal sin
But’s better than their swearing-in.
And so I’ve joined the Tea Bag Nation.
I’ll vote for Sarah Palin who’s
Right-minded as Murdoch’s Fox News;
She’ll keep my taxes on location
Right here at home: keep out the fags
From marriage or wearing dogtags.”