THE FAMILY VALUES VOTER (for MAX BLUMENTHAL)

I am a family values voter-
Against pro-choice in politics;
Or anything that has the odor
Of liberals and their stinking tricks.
I’d put an end to immigration
Because it leads to cancellation
Of fetuses; and think a queer
Should have a stick shoved up his rear.
I think the god of Muslims, Allah,-
A funny name to call a god
But foreigners are awfully odd-
Should be sent back to his Valhalla.
Especially I’d perfect the Jews;
Or offer what they can’t refuse.

AL ( OUT IN THE COLD ) GORE

Is Al Gore right on global warming?
Most probably. But here’s the thing.
A pol who’s only good brainstorming-
Instead of grabbing center ring
As president- might be well-meaning
But never will be intervening
Effectively to beat the heat.
You must be in the driver’s seat
To make a difference in a crisis.
Who doesn’t know a Nobel Prize
Won’t stop the artificial highs?
So even though Gore’d like to ice us,
He can’t because he got outpolled
And found himself out in the cold

NEOCLASSICAL ECONOMICS ( for RICK AND STEVE )

Is economics so simplistic
You'd capture it by using math;
Or is it truly agonistic,
As Steinbeck showed in Grapes of Wrath?
Can it be captured in mosaics
Of formulae whose algebraics,
While elegant, put us on hold
As variables uncontrolled?
Assuming perfect information-
Which most economists think bliss
But normal people would dismiss-
Requires a world of their creation.
In other words, a make believe
Where all are absent by their leave.

DUDE, WHERE'S MY PARTY ?

Dude, where’s my Democratic Party?
Why does it go to such great lengths,
When it was once so hale and hearty,
To dissipate what were its strengths?-
Declaring victory prematurely;
But losing it by acting squirrelly;
(I don’t mean nuts like Albert Gore
Who let Bush in the doggie door);
But forcing its outspoken members
Who are prepared to take a stand
To sell it a generic brand,
Till what they've said no one remembers;
But mostly when they’d push our rights,
They freeze like deer caught in headlights.

HUCKABEE ON IMMIGRATION AND ABORTION

When Huckabee claims immigration
Is filling the abortion gap,
He’s preaching to the congregation
That wants an immigration cap.
But if a fetus by abortion
Is liable for the disproportion,
Then why smear immigrants with shame
When fetuses should bear the blame?
If fetuses were not aborted,
That doesn’t mean when come of age
They’d gladly work for any wage
No matter how low down and sordid.
But give illegals that to earn
And fetuses won’t come to term.

A QUESTION FOR THE DEMOCRATS

I don’t mean to be apathetic,
But how am I supposed to vote
For Democrats I find pathetic?
They, all of them, stick in my throat.
When none of them, for attribution,
Will stick up for the Constitution,
As Bush rewrites its every word-
As if the Bill of Rights were turd;
When government without a reason
Denies a person’s day in court.
Why don’t the Democrats retort:
“It’s Bush who's guilty of high treason?”
Perhaps they hope he'll guarantee
That they’ll, as well, rule by decree?

CONFESSION IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL

"I see no reason to pay taxes
Especially tax on my estate
When finally my life climaxes.
Why haven’t I pulled my own weight?
To hell with liberal sociologists,
They’re communism’s ideologists,
Who claim we all were middle class
Before the “right” turned downright crass
And argued that the poor were massing
To take our riches as their own
And that we would be overthrown
Unless the wretches suffered gassing;
Or died, at least, from overwork,
As did my on call day/night clerk."