THE EVANGELICAL PROSECUTOR'S PRAYER

Please, Jesus, will You be my Savior?
Please run for president again;
And I’ll excuse Your bad behavior
As President George Bush. Amen.
You only had enough osmosis
So Bush and Cheney could engross us.
Let Thompson be your antidote,
Not Rudy in his petticoat.
I know You are our Founding Father-
Well, actually, the Father’s Son
(I don’t completely get that one)-
But if You’d take the time and bother
To help Fred Thompson to a win
I could convict on grounds of sin.

For we’d amend the Constitution
To make provisions more robust
Against all who teach evolution
Because they dis In God We Trust;
And do away with all distortion
About the right to an abortion;
As well as make who swing both ways
Or, worse, the unrepentant gays,
Give up demanding to be married;
And stop them laughing up their sleeve
At virgin birth as make believe.
Then when these evils have been parried,
We’ll be Your City on the Hill
Where charging sin brings a true bill.