THE PRINCIPAL EDUCRAT

If teaching were a real profession,
We’d have the independence to
Use thoughtfully our own discretion
In teaching kids don’t have a clue.
Instead the educrat bureaucracy-
A bloated tribe of mediocracy-
Thinks that it knows how teaching’s done
And can be done by anyone.
The principal administrator
Has done a little classroom time
Then fast-tracked out so s/he could climb
The ladder up to castigator
Of what once drove her up the wall
Without a daily Seconal.

IT'S KILLER TIME

The NCLB mandates testing
To count the prisons we will need
Because who fail they’ll be arresting
On charges that they cannot read.
I know you’ll claim I’m pessimistic
When all I am is realistic-
There’s money for the rich folk’s schools
But why spend money on their mules?
But when the mules begin their bucking
It never even gives you pause
That you’re the reason they’re outlaws.
And tired of all the jive and shucking,
The mules know they’ve been serving time
So why not go and do the crime.

PALIN INTERVIEW WITH POEMS ON AFFAIRS OF STATE

"I read all sorts of publications;
Especially the daily news.
My team supplies me with quotations,
Specifically about the Jews.
About them teaming with the nigger
To sap this nation of its vigor
So when it comes to Judgment Day
We’ll all be dead because we’re gay.
That’s why I’m running on this ticket-
To see our kids remain co-ed;
And not start thinking God is dead.
If that seems like a sticky wicket,
I say to you beyond a doubt-
LET'S KILL 'EM ALL THEN SORT IT OUT!"

LIBERAL HYPOCRISY

The Governor, Ms. Sarah Palin,
Appointed friends and donors to
Top jobs. And now the Dems are wailin’
About what they themselves would do.
Methinks this smacks of some hypocrisy-
For, after all, this is democracy
Where you’ll be left out in the cold
If you don’t sell yourself for gold.
A case in point Barrack Obama
Who’s raised more money than he spends.
Won’t he, as well, reward his friends?
Of course he won’t appoint his mama
To office. That would be a joke.
She's dead already and died broke.

A PRAYER WARRIOR FOR PALIN

I am A Palin Prayer Warrior
And hope to God I live to see
Rejoicing angels lift and buoy her
From VP to Presidency.
Then she can help us smite blasphemers
As Sampson did with asses’ femurs
And crush them to a bag of bones,
Returning glory to Dow Jones.
She’ll put an end to their verbosity
On separating church and state;
That gays and lesbians may mate;
And finally end the worst atrocity-
That woman will receive her due
And be presented on The View.

WHEN!!!!!

Electioneering is the seeking
Of power in an office that
You promise voters you’re critiquing.
Since politics was first begat
You’ve promised them idealism;
To do away with cynicism;
That you’re the one, the real McCoy,
To represent the hoi polloi.
But once elected to the office,
And after time to settle in,
Just like a snake you shed your skin;
And sideways slithering you scoff us
Until you do it all again.
When will we learn to holler "WHEN?"

A NEW LEFT (FOR NOAM CHOMSKY)

To vote the lesser of two evils,
So Chomsky says, is doing right.
Because he’s given up upheavals;
Or maybe he’s too old to fight?
He’s all but given up democracy
By giving way to vote plutocracy.
I’d rather vote a party that
Is willing to go to the mat
With capital and take production
And put in the workers’ hands.
He’d say to fire from frying pans.
But Chomsky needs an introduction
On what it means to build a Left
Not based on surplus values’ theft.

THE EXCESS TESTOSTERONE EFFECT

The architects of this recession
Can’t help themselves. Testosterone
Has helped make gambling their obsession
Since risk’s been bred deep in the bone.
The rules of rational investing
To these are naught but foolish jesting-
They’re out to take the biggest prize
No matter it means our demise.
Consider then the implications
Of trusting your investments to
A man who’s fueled by derring-do.
Why not require of them castrations;
And if that doesn’t do the trick,
We slice up each and every prick.

YOU CALL THIS AN ELECTION!!!!

I get up early every morning
And sitting at my table write
A satire’s flyting full of scorning
For liberals both “left” and right.
But liberals who are “left-leaning”
Inflame my wit into demeaning
Their vain attempts to help brainstorm
How capital might brave the storm.
Meanwhile what passes for democracy-
The right to vote and have our say
Each four years on election day-
Is just a cover for plutocracy.
Republicans and Democrats
Should call themselves REPUBLICRATS.

A SOLUTION TO THE ECONOMIC CRISIS

The Constitution needs (amen)ding
When liberal democracy
Has long outlived its patent pending
And ended as hypocrisy.
To think we’ll all go to perdition
(If workers wanting manumission
From value added they don’t get
Should want to try a soviet
That promises no exploitation),
Is drivel when they say take ten.
Then what? I feed my kids on Zen?
So why not try expropriation
To put an end to their grand theft.
Let’s organize to hang a Left.

DIE HARDS

Though Cheney was a tad aggressive,
He was the Right man for the job.
He may have been a bit excessive;
But polishing George Bush’s knob
Required a man whose artful striving
Could turn a weeny to conniving;
And so Bush went from hockey puck
To being, sure-enough, dumdstruck. .
And neither will be prosecuted
Except perhaps in lines of rhyme
Though every breath they draw’s a crime.
In Texas they’d be executed.
Ask widows of the Texas Guard
Who’d like to see both men die hard.

THE BRADLEY EFFECT

Republicans are gratifying
Electorates who think that race
Deserves a thorough vilifying
In hopes McCain will take first place.
Meanwhile the Democrats are wailing
It’s true McCain may be prevailing
Because Obama’s six point lead
Means nothing has been guaranteed.
I don’t care who wins this election
Since both men are but(t) corporate sluts
Who pander to our modern Tuts.
Yet voters who’d vote for complexion
Deserve to vote as they see fit
And so emerge besmeared in shit.

POLITICAL POWER GROWS OUT OF THE BARREL OF A GUN

The minute I become discursive
A voice inside my head says, “Hey,
You will be classified sub(vers)ive
For wanting to go all the way
And wrecking Capital’s longstanding
By organizing its disbanding
And giving over what it makes
To workers who deserve fair shakes.
So be prepared. A desperado
Is hunted till s/he’s run to ground
And then, in truth, is duty-bound
To fight it out for Eldorado-
For power grows from out a gun,
If you’d bring down LEVIATHAN.”

WE HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF DICK CHENEY

Dick Cheney has a White House office
Near Bush’s where he sits and thinks
How best the NSA might off us
For causing him official stinks.
He grumbles out his hateful thinking
About comedians lipsyncing
A man whose mates know’s to be feared
Yet all he gets is booed and jeered.
He knows where Jimmy Hoffa’s buried
And, mad at Bush, thinks he’s the man
Who should have filled a dog food can.
Alas, his plans on that miscarried.
He calls McCain. For no support,
He wants the next seat on the Court.

FOR A LEFT TURN

Where is the Left when it’s most needed;
When capitalism’s crisis gets
So hot it’s time’s been superseded?
But all we get are its bad debts.
Why not build on its self-destruction
And use that as an introduction
To put the workers in control
And send it down its own black hole?
But that won’t happen acquiescing
In voting for a Democrat
Who uses us as his doormat
Which he’ll help bankers repossessing.
As Lenin said, You play hardball
Or Capital will never fall.

THE CRYING SHTICK

I hardly think Joe Biden’s crying
Is reason to get all choked-up-
Though he distracted me from trying
To guess the size of Palin’s cup.
No. Biden is so disagreeable
Because he made me quite unfreeable-
I have to go the whole nine yards
And pay off all my credit cards.
I’ll bet the banks will give him credit!
They have to if they’d see him win;
He’s life to them, their kith and kin.
The Bidens of the world don’t get it.
But neither do my closest friends
Who just like me are at loose ends.

THE CULTURAL STUDIES OF DONNA HARAWAY

At Santa Cruz, Cultural Studies
Is celebrating twenty years
Of leaving history’s fuddie-duddies
Behind and crying in their beers.
With studies on mankind’s educing
From groping to the modern goosing;
How mankind went from loving dogs
To slaughtering much smarter hogs,
The profs are all quite certifiable.
They couldn’t tell a cyborg from
A human made by human mum.
Since what they write’s not verifiable,
They say and do just what they please
While jargoning academese.

DYSTOPIAN THOUGHTS

I’ve always practiced contraception;
Or else ideas I’ve declined
Might lead men’s senses to perception.
I much prefer to keep them blind-
The ones who scoff at God’s morality,
For higher forms of rationality;
That shows off its opposing thumb
To argue earth is Kingdom Come.
That we’ve already been admitted
To heaven on this lucky earth
From that first instant of our birth;
And that it’s our fault we’ve permitted
The earth to be a living hell
With mankind as its cancer cell.

AVON CALLING

I wouldn’t leave a false impression
Behind me when I’m finally gone.
I studied hard for my profession-
To be a mullah in Iran.
But found the work so damned appalling,
I gave it up for Avon calling.
I went about in full disguise-
All husbands saw were my brown eyes.
How wonderful to be admitted
Where only “other” women went.
They praised me as if heaven sent
Since only God could have outwitted
A husband in his bailiwick.
But, still, we did it double-quick.