A college started its Extension
In writing, granting MFAs;
But wasn’t getting much attention
Since other schools were, nowadays,
So busy granting their diplomas.
“You’d think we’re selling carcinomas,
For all the business that we get,”
A writing teacher said. “It’s debt
And interest that the banks are charging,”
Another said. The Dean, fed up,
While drinking from his coffee cup,
Said, “We’ll begin then by enlarging
Our writing program. What’s forsworn?”
All looked confused. “Why . . . writing porn.”
“But, Dean, we are a Christian college!”
“Exactly. People of the Book.
The Bible’s full of carnal knowledge.”
And so the panel took a look.
And when they finished, they detected
The Bible stories they’d inspected,
Although it’s true they were complex,
Were all conspicuous for sex.
At this they settled in to thinking,
When one, the writing teacher, said,
“But porn’s just fucking, giving head.”
“Then what we need is interlinking
What happened with what’s apropos:
That most were scourged with a stone’s throw.”
Their writing program proved successful,
Once it got passed the school’s trustees;
Who thought at first it might be stressful
To those believing porn was sleaze.
But when convinced that Bible stories
Displayed their God in all His glories,
They offered prizes for the script
That showed their God as all unzipped.
In truth was plot and conversation,
And characters that were hard-core
That stopped a porno from a bore.
From then, screen writer’s education
Began by subbing porn’s brute force
With what excited intercourse.